


You Found Me

by retrolily



Category: Tom Hardy - Fandom, Tommy Conlon - Fandom, Warrior (2011)
Genre: Anger, Angst, Best Friends, Childhood Friends, F/M, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Pain, Regret, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-02-09
Updated: 2016-08-31
Packaged: 2017-11-28 17:27:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 32,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/676992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/retrolily/pseuds/retrolily
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Twenty-nine year old Danielle Cassidy turns on the news to see her old childhood neighbour and best friend, Tommy Conlon, who she hasn't seen in ten years. She does everything in her power to see him again, which brings up old, forgotten memories and feelings. Things are going well, but there are some things you can't run from.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Danielle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Memories of Tommy begin to resurface. Dani thinks back on the first time he left her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FULL CAST:
> 
> Tommy Riordan - Tom Hardy  
> Danielle Cassidy - Evangeline Lilly  
> Brendan Conlon - Joel Edgerton  
> Tess Conlon - Jennifer Morrison  
> Anna Summers (née Cassidy) - Lynn Collins
> 
> (Supporting)  
> James Summers - James Marsden  
> Paddy Conlon - Nick Nolte  
> Carol Riordan - Kim Basinger circa 1998 (I originally said she died at 39, changing it to 45 - Paddy was obviously way older than her.)  
> 

 

**{Danielle}**

**Albany, New York**

** **

It was 10:30 PM on a Wednesday night. I was laying down on my living room couch after watching a bunch of television and was ready to turn in for the night.  
Exhausted, but still not ready to get to bed yet, I flipped through some more channels. I finally settled on CNN. I wanted to get in a bit of news before I went to bed.

I flicked to the channel and waited.

 _"A surprising turn in the story of Iraq War hero Tommy Riordan."_ A chill went down my spine when I heard his name. _Tommy_? I thought.

 _"CNN has learned that Riordan's true identity is that of Marine Staff Sergeant Thomas Conlon, who went AWOL from his unit earlier this year following the friendly fire death of his brother-in-arms, Sergeant Manny Fernandez. Fernandez' wife, Pilar Fernandez, spoke with me in an exclusive interview moments ago."_ My mouth fell open.

The last time I saw him he was an angry, skinny eighteen year old. Angry, passionate, caring and smug. He actually did it, I thought, completely dismissing the fact that he was Absent Without Leave. He always talked about joining the Marines, but I never thought he would actually go through with it. He was always so unpredictable. Come to think of it, I don't think I could have imagined him doing anything else. Not working in an office and definitely not in a school. Maybe in an autoshop.

The last time I saw him was in 1998. I was sixteen years old and he had just graduated from Henry Foss High School in Tacoma. You don't want to know how I ended up following him there after we were neighbours back in Pittsburgh. Anyway, I can barely remember that day, but _I remember a time when it was all I thought about._

I tried to tone down my excitement about seeing Tommy and focus on what the newscaster was saying, but was finding it hard to. I never thought I would see him again, nevertheless on my television.

* * *

  ** _Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania November 1994_ **

_I was only twelve years old the first time he left. Tommy was fourteen and Brendan was sixteen._

_"I'm leaving." Tommy said, the cold wind whipping his face. "Me and my mom - We're going. She's leavi_ _ng my dad. Gave him the papers and everything."_

_"What! Why? I said, bewildered. I knew Paddy was an abusive drunk, but I never thought they would actually leave._

_"We don't want anything to do with him, but Brendan - he's being a dumb bitch . He wants to stay with his fucking girlfriend."_

_He looked anxious. He was starting to look around. "I have to go." He said solemnly while starting to walk away._

_"But, when?" I asked, but he was already heading to his house._

_I just stood there in the dark. I watched him walk up his steps to the front door ..._

**_The Next Night_ **

_I hadn't seen Tommy all day and was too scared to knock on his door. I assumed Paddy was pissed about them leaving, but especially about Carol taking Tommy._

_"Tommy! Get in the car!" I heard Carol shout and I ran downstairs as fast I could still wearing my PJs. I got to the window in time to see Tommy walking out his front door with a duffle bag in his hand. I knocked on the window. He looked up at me, but his face was expressionless. Carol waved at me from the car. "Sweetheart, remember to take care of your mother". She said. I smiled weakly. Tommy didn't get in the car right away, so I ran and opened the screen door as quickly as I could. It seemed like he was waiting for something. Me._

_"Bye, Tommy." I said, so low that I wasn't sure he heard me. He walked up to the car door and opened it._

_"Go and give Danielle a hug." Carol said, and he embarrassingly turned around and smiled. He threw his bag in the back seat and headed towards me._

_"What about Brendan?" I asked into his ear._

_"Not my problem. He shoulda been here."_

_After the car had started up, I went back to stand on my porch. I knew Brendan wasn't home and how upset he would be that they left before he said goodbye - but they had no choice. It was now or never._

_Paddy was watching from the steps._ _"Don't worry. She'll be back," Paddy slurred at me as he turned around and headed for the door._

 _I waved and then they drove off._ _After Tommy left, and I would see Brendan around, he would tell me to get lost. I think he hated me. I got to say goodbye and he didn't._

* * *

  **PRESENT**

 _"Conlon, who is fighting in the Mixed Martial Arts mega tournament Sparta, is expected to be taken_ _into custody by military police following tonight's winner take all finale in Atlantic City."_

_Into custody? What? I said to myself._

I opened the guide, typed in "Sparta" and clicked the first channel that came up.

 _"We've just got some incredible news that I'm having trouble putting into context, but here it is: the_ _two men fighting for the championship tonight, for the five million dollar prize, for the middle weight championship of the world, are brothers."_

"What!?" I finally said out loud. "Brendan's fighting? No way."

I couldn't believe my ears. And to think I was just about to turn off the TV and go to sleep. I would have missed the whereabouts of my best friend.

Tommy - that asshole. He didn't even try to find me after all this time. Though, who was I to judge? I didn't try to find him either.

Of course he was a man now and looked nothing like the way I remembered. He had the same face, but he looked older. More like a man. It gave me an uneasy feeling. In my head, he was still the same eighteen year old. I nervously watched as Brendan made his way into the arena. He looked the same, but obviously aged. I smiled to myself,tearing up almost. I thought of the times when he would see Tommy and I hanging out and would give me a hard time about being his girlfriend. Tommy and I were always quick to curse him out. I was a real outspoken and sassy kid back then.

A few moments later, Tommy walked out. He had a hard, grim look on his face.

Finally, he entered the cage...


	2. I Don't Believe It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dani remembers meeting up with Tommy in Tacoma when she was fourteen. She decides to travel to Pittsburgh and meets up with a familiar face.

I forced myself to watch the whole fight.

He wasn't going to back off of Brendan because of all the hate I knew he felt towards him. Then, Brendan took Tommy's arm. Within seconds, I could tell that he had dislocated his shoulder. I winced. It was hard to see Tommy in so much pain.

I knew Tommy had a lot of anger towards Brendan for staying behind, but _Why didn't he just tap out?_ I thought. Tears began to fill my eyes. By the fifth round, Brendan was squeezing his neck, and he looked as though he was about to pass out.

Finally, he tapped out. I sighed loudly. Tommy was as stubborn as a rock.

After the fight, I was an emotional wreck. The film cameras showed them walking through the tunnel, Brendan with his arm around Tommy. The way the announcers spoke it was like some angsty Lifetime story. I buried my face into a nearby pillow and drowned out the sound of the announcers.

When the fight was long over, I lied awake in my bed reminiscing.

* * *

 _When I was twelve_ , the only thing I cared about was being closer to Tommy. I had to go to Tacoma. I had to see Tommy.

By the time I was fourteen I had given up on the thought and it seemed like a stupid fantasy more than anything. When someone's best friend moves away they usually don't follow them, but then something happened. My mom had found a nursing job there that paid well. My older sister, Anna was eighteen and had already moved out.

My mom didn't want to leave Anna in Pittsburgh all alone, but Anna had to beg her to take the job. She couldn't live with herself if she knew she was holding our mom back. She told her she was an adult and could take care of herself now. Which was true. Anna had always been independent. More than I ever was. I had no doubt that she would be fine.

She reluctantly left and took me along. I don't even think she remembered that Tommy and Carol had moved there too.

Tacoma was a pretty big place and I never expected to see Tommy. I hadn't thought about him yet once since I had arrived, but then, on my first day of school, I saw him again.

**_Tacoma, Washington March 1996 - Henry Foss High School_ **

_I was speed-walking down the hall trying to find my second period class. The room numbers for classrooms always confused me. I turned a corner and bumped into a figure with his head facing his locker. He turned to me._

_"Watch where the fuck you're going!"_

_"I'm really - " I stopped. It was Tommy._

_"Shit - Dani!?" He pulled me into a bear hug._

_When he released me, he looked me up and down. "Holy shit, you look different!"_

_"Obviously, Tommy. I'm not twelve anymore - And so do you." I said, my smile growing larger and larger. Seeing him again felt good.  
_

_"What are you doing here?"  
_

_"Shit, Tommy ..." I said. "My mom got a job here. We had to leave my sister behind though."_ _His expression turned sympathetic .  
_

_"That sucks.." he answered, running his fingers through his hair, but then his signature smirk crept on his face. "At least I get to see you again." He playfully punched me in the arm.  
_

_"Yeah - plus she moved out anyway."_

_"Oh."_

_"I paused. "By the way, if you were wondering about Brendan, he is..." He stopped me._

_"Nah, man. I don't wanna hear about Brendan." He spit out his name emphasizing his disgust._ _There was silence. Then he put on his "sweet talker" smile._

_"Hang out with me tonight - like we used to." Pause. " It would make mom happy to see you again."_

* * *

  ** _PRESENT_ **

A month had gone by and I still hadn't heard about anything in the news in relation to Tommy. I mean I couldn't just up and leave to Pittsburgh to get information. Especially not knowing if I could even get into contact with anybody.

_**The newscaster spoke,** "It has just come to my attention that Tommy Riordan, the Iraq War Hero turned MMA fighter who abandoned his unit, _was sentenced to serve six months in federal prison, this morning.__

_His sentence was originally supposed to be longer, but because of the lives he saved during a friendly fire incident on the field, it was said to be dramatically shortened._

_He is not expected to return to his previous unit after receiving an honourable discharge, for reasons unknown._

_Wow, what a story. Considering all he's been through. He may not have won Sparta, but I would say Tommy Riordan is one lucky man."_

"Six months. OK. Six months until I can see him again. I can handle that." I would leave for Pittsburgh closer to then.

Then, I remembered the injury he had sustained in the fight. I wanted nothing more than to be there for him and comfort him. Flashbacks of the fight flooded my mind. I tried to reassure myself that everything was fine. Tommy and Brendan had reconnected and they would make up for lost time as soon as he got out. But, of course, I couldn't be sure.

It was nearly the end of August when I finally let my bosses know about my vacation. My friends wondered why I would be travelling so late in the month since Summer was practically over - so I told them about Tommy. Nothing specific, but just that I needed information on an old friend. I was ready to drive the whole way there.

* * *

  **Philadelphia, Pennsylvania**

I decided to stop by my sister, Anna's on the way and was ecstatic to see how big my 6-year-old niece, Beth, had gotten. I was exhausted after my 4 and a half hour drive and decided to spend the night. The next morning, when I had finished catching up with my sister, I stopped at a local grocery to get a few things for the rest of my trip.

"Where the hell is the chips aisle in here?" I furiously shoved my cart forward and it ran into someone's foot. A man with his blonde wife.

"Crap!" I covered mouth. "I am so..."

"Hey, watch it!" The person scolded. I didn't recognize him from behind, but when he turned around...

He was angry at first, then his face softened. "Sorry, do I know you?" He asked me. "Cuz you look really familiar..."

I smiled and said his name. "Brendan Conlon - wow!" I laughed. "This is so crazy."

Then, he really looked at me and his eyes lit up. "I don't believe it - Dani?"


	3. Six Months

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danielle catches up with Brendan. Brendan reveals an interesting memory he has involving Danielle.  
> (Note: Gifs help for visuals and are not always exact to the story.)

**{Danielle}**

** **

 

 

 

 

 

 

"No way - Danielle?" He repeated my name, though he must have known he was right. I can't believe he recognized me. I didn't think I looked the same as before, but he sure did.

"Yes! Oh my gosh Brendan, Hi. I was just thinking about you. It must be fate. You're just the person I needed to talk to. I'm so sorry about your foot by the way." I smiled embarrassed.

"Brendan, I'll be right back. I'm gonna check on the girls." Tess smiled at me before she walked away. He awkwardly embraced me for a hug.

"You came all the way out here to find me?"

"No, actually, I was heading down to the 'Burgh. I was gonna see If I could talk to Paddy." I searched his eyes for any flicker of anger. "You guys keep in touch now?" I asked.

"Somewhat." He paused." This is about Tommy, right?"

"Yeah - I really want to see him again."I paused. "It's been so long." I added unsure of what to say. I really hoped Brendan didn't think I was just showing up because Tommy was somewhat of a MMA star now.

"Uh huh," he nodded. "He gets out in six months by the way," He added awkwardly.

"I know - I mean, I heard it on the news."

His expression changed into a smirk, similar to the one I've always seen Tommy use. "We're throwing him a welcome home party. It's gonna be too cold for a barbecue, but Tess is gonna make dinner and we're inviting close family and friends. It's going to be pretty small, but you're welcome to join us. We're keeping it a surprise. I'm sure he'll love to see you again."

"That sounds great!" I giggled. I tried not to sound too excited, but my heart was racing.

"Here. Give me your number and I'll text you when the details are finalized." He took his clearly upgraded phone out of pocket and handed it to me.

"Yeah, cool" I took it and typed it into his phone

"You still living in Tacoma?" He asked as I handed his phone back to him.

"No, actually. I live in New York now."

"Oh, that's great. What do you do?"

"I'm a journalist. I write for the Times. Sometimes The Daily Post."

"Wow, you must be workin' hard then."

I laughed. "Yeah."

"You probably know now that I'm a physics teacher." He said while rocking back and forth on his heels. Clearly thinking about the tournament where almost everyone saw him get his ass kicked, and then beat the crap out of his brother.

I looked down. "Yes, I do know that, among other things... " I looked up and smiled. "And I never would have imagined you teaching." I added, not wanting to bring it up.

He laughed while two young girls holding copious amounts of snacks turned the corner.

"Where's your mother, Em?" He asked, staring at all the sugar they carried. It was bizarre seeing Brendan all sophisticated and fatherly. I stared at him in awe.

"She's coming, Dad!" The eldest, obviously Em, short for something like Emma or Emily, replied while throwing snacks into the cart.

"Emily - Rosie - this is Danielle. She's an old friend of mine and your Uncle Tommy."

I waved at the girls. "Hello."

"The one we haven't met yet?" Emily asked.

"Yes Em - and what do we say - Rosie?"

"Hi Danielle." They sheepishly said one after the other while hiding behind their father. I smiled, not wanting to intrude on their shopping trip. "Hi, girls!"

Brendan was now helping his kids rearrange things in the cart, so I tapped him on the shoulder to get his attention.

"Um, I've gotta go. I'll see you around Brendan. Say hi to Tess for me." I was unsure if I should hug him again so I warmly patted him on the shoulder. I wasn't sure if that was weird.

"Will do." He reassured. "Take care, Dani."

I smiled when he called me "Dani. It brought back so many memories. "I will." I told him.

I pushed my cart carefully this time and walked away. After paying for a few things, I headed back to my car satisfied with my journey. I had gotten all the information I needed and was glad that I didn't have to travel all the way to Pittsburgh. I was going to see Tommy in six months and give him the biggest surprise of his life.

I was grinning all the way home.

* * *

 

**{Brendan}**

"Okay, who's gonna help mommy carry the groceries inside?"

"Me!" Emily shrieked. "Me too", Rosie volunteered, following her older sister. I opened the trunk and handed the girls the lightest bags I could find. They ran into the kitchen as fast as they could, while Tess and I carried the rest. On our last trip, Tess looked at me when we got inside.

"Why are you smiling?" Tess teased, playfully nudging my shoulder. We both stopped in the kitchen and started putting things away. Meanwhile, Emma and Rosie, already had _Treehouse_ playing in the living room.

"I don't know, it's weird." I answered. "The last time I saw Danielle she was a cheeky, smart-mouthing kid."

"Always talking back?"

"Always talking back. Always challenging people. Man, I thought she was so annoying - But now, she's grown up into a woman. I mean it's so strange."

"Yeah", Tess said while she nodded and smile. "I'm pretty sure she thought the same about you."

"You remember her too, don't you?"

"Yeah - Tommy's little girlfriend, I remember. They did everything together," Tess exclaimed while she headed towards the fridge to start putting things away. "They hung around at school, right?"

"No, I don't think they hung out at school though. I think she is a few years younger."

"Right.." Tess put the vegetables in the bottom of the fridge before she turned around and looked at me.

"I always thought you didn't like her." I gave her a confused look and shrugged.

"Ah - I think seeing her again will be great for Tommy."

_**Pittsburgh, PA June 1995** _

_It was about 11 PM and I was on my way home from Tess' place, when I stopped in the park a block away from my street. I sat on a_ _nearby bench. I was trying to stay out as late as possible, hoping to avoid Pop, in hopes that he would be passed out by the time I got there. I sighed. I started to think on Tommy and Mom and how they hadn't even tried to call in over six months. I get not wanting to talk to Paddy, but me - I was his brother. She was my mom - My own mother. Fuck! I picked up a stone from the sand and threw it as hard as I could._

 _I saw two guys at the end of the slide swearing at each other and getting in each other's faces. One of the guy's shirt lifted, revealing something dark, probably steel. At first, I wasn't sure what it was, but then I realized._ _I started to get up and back away when out of the corner of my eye, there was a thirteen year old Danielle aimlessly walking around with her hands in her pockets._

_"Yo kid, get outta here" I called out as I headed towards her, low enough that the thugs didn't hear. Their confrontation increased in volume. She barely seemed to notice._

_"I'm waiting for someone. Mind your own business, Brendan." She insisted. I finally reached her, grabbed both her shoulders and spoke right into her ear so she could hear me clearly._

_"You need to get the fuck outta here!" I threatened, as menacing as I could._

_"What the he" I grabbed her by the shirt and turned her around before she could finish, pushing her in the direction of our houses. She got loose and was started to turn back around when I grabbed her by the arm._

_"Let go of me!" She yelled and tried to wriggle free._

_"Danielle. Don't be so hard-headed." I said, as I steadied her. "Not tonight . Just go meet your stupid friend somewhere else. I promise you, I'm not trying to be a jerk, just do it." I demanded. She glared at me for a split second, before she finally stormed off._


	4. Welcome Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy is finally out of prison and returns "home" for a celebration.

**{Danielle}  
**

Pennsylvania, PA February 18

** **

Two days. Two fucking days until I would finally see Tommy again. I felt like I was going mad. I was staying with my sister and her husband, James, since they lived relatively close to Brendan. I knew exactly what I was going to wear and exactly when I would arrive. When Brendan texted me, he said I should show up a little later to surprise him. I also wanted to give Tommy time to catch up with his family so I added an hour or two. I had gone through a million scenarios of what would happen and how he might react, in my head.

I ran into Anna's room and jumped her bed.

"What the hell's the matter with you?' She laughed turning down the TV. James was out of town on a business trip.

"Oh, nothing." I smiled. I picked up her pillow and screamed into it.

"Hey...relax you're gonna wake up Beth." She finally understood. "This is about Tommy, isn't it?"

"Yes," I nodded. I couldn't stop smiling.

She rolled her eyes. "I'd be careful if I were you. If you act this annoying around him, he'll probably pummel you. "

"Oh, shut up." I retorted. I really didn't have anything to say to her. I just wanted someone to express my feelings to.

"So - Tommy the fighter, eh?"

"Yeah - " I raised an eyebrow at her. "What are you trying to say?"

"Oh, nothing -" She got up to use the bathroom. "I just can't say I'm surprised."

I frowned at her.

"I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree," she whispered on her way out.

* * *

**{Tommy}**

The icy wind whipped past me, burning my face. "Ah, fuck!" I grumbled under my breath. Brendan's car edged closer to where I stood inside the prison gates. The car stopped and Brendan got out of the car, smiling like an idiot.

"What the fuck are you so happy for?" I teased and he pulled me into one one of his burly hugs. After he released me, we headed towards the car.

"You hungry? Tess made dinner back at my place. Shane, Mike, Pilar and the kids, they're all there - Paddy too." He looked at me, unsure of how I would react. I didn't. I shrugged.

"Yeah, I'm hungry." I told him.

"Uncle Ben and the gang are coming down from Memphis. They'll be there a little later. It's nothing big, just - "

"What - like some kind of welcome home party? Hey - I hate that kind of shit, man. Everybody hugging up and telling each other memories and their life stories and shit."

"It won't be that bad, trust me." He assured me, while opening my door.

"Whatever." He laughed, while I threw my things in the back and sat down.

"What? They don't let you guys shave in there?." He questioned, looking at my fully grown beard.

"Some pussy tried of kill themselves a while back, so they said it's too "high-risk". They don't let no one use razors no more."

On the way home, Brendan didn't talk to me. He could tell that I wasn't in the mood. I didn't want to talk. Not about the fight and definitely not about what prison was like. I mean I was heading home after six months and wasn't in hiding anymore. I was a free man. Everything that happened in the past, I was putting it behind me.

I didn't regret anything that had happened in Iraq though. Those fuckers almost killed me - they killed my brothers and they expected me to just come back and say "Oh, everything's OK now, I'm back to fight for my country." Those bastards can kiss my ass.

I'm glad I got discharged. They wouldn't want a fuckup like me anyway.

"Hey, Tommy, we're here." I looked out the window and saw people standing outside. Brendan must have texted Tess when I wasn't paying attention. Isn't that illegal? Texting while driving? I thought Brendan was Mr. Law Abiding Citizen, I scoffed as I got out of the car.

"Tommy!" Pilar smiled warmly, and ran towards me. I pulled her into a bear hug and kissed the top of her head. "How are you?"

"I'm good. Where are the kids at?"

"Oh they're inside. They're both inside." She paused. "Your dad is there too." She added. I didn't get why people were acting so weird about bringing him up.

I knew that Brendan was giving him a chance, you know little visits with the kids every now and then. I mean I thought I made it clear that I was willing to move on. I was the first to acknowledge him, long before Brendan ever did. They think that all I do is hold grudges against everyone and walk around with my head down.

I saw Mike and Shane, my old high school buddies, standing to the side with open arms. "Tommy!" They yelled.

"You guys came all they way down here? What have you guys been up to?"

"Nothing much. It's all good man. My wife is out here visiting her parents with the kids. I thought I would stop by, catch up with an old friend." Mike responded.

"My work's out here, so I live out here now." Shane chimed in.

"Good. That's good." I stood there, unsure of what to say next.

"Yeah, don't forget you're taking me out for beers before I leave." Mike added.

"Alright - alright." I agreed.

I stopped smiling. Tess was standing there as well. There was a brief silence.

"Hi, Tommy." she smiled, while standing in the doorway. I nodded. She stepped out to embraced me and I hugged my sister- in-law for the first time. "Welcome home." She said as I kissed her on the cheek, which I think took her off guard little. _Why the hell not?_ I thought. She blushed.

Brendan smiled. "Come on everyone. Let's all go inside. It's freezing." Brendan ushered us all indoors.

"Tommy? That you?" Paddy slowly got up from his sitting position on the couch.

"Yea, pop. It's me" I grinned and took my old man into my arms.

* * *

 

**Dinnertime**

"Okay, okay you two settle down. Dinner is gonna be ready soon." Tess called after her children. It was after six and I was just about starved.

Emily, Rosie, and a few younger cousins were taking Pops upstairs to see their playroom. Maria and Manny followed closely behind. The women were helping out in the kitchen. Two hours had passed since I arrived and all had finished catching up.

I sat around the table listening to the guys talk about their jobs and that bullshit, a few steps away. I leaned back and took another swig of my beer.

"Is she here yet?" I heard Tess whisper into Brendan's ear.

"Yeah, she just got here. She's outside." Brendan replied a little too loud for Tess's liking. She nudged him, then looked at me. I didn't think nothing of it. Then, the doorbell rang. Brendan stood up. "I'll get it." Again, I didn't think nothing of it and returned to my beer.

A few moments later I heard the sound of heels clicking on tile floors and raised my head to see who it was. It was some girl. She was tall with a nice body and she was staring right at me.

Then, I got a better look at her face. My heart began to beat faster, even though I wasn't completely sure she was who I thought she was. Then, she smiled. A smile I would recognize anywhere.

_It can't be..._


	5. How We Were Before

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy and Danielle catch up.

_**Chapter Theme Song:** Marianas Trench - Good To You (_ _Everyone's around, no words are coming out._ _And I can't find my breath, can we just say the rest with no sound.)_

**{Danielle}  
**

** **

It took him a few seconds before he actually put his beer down. My face was frozen. I couldn't smile until I was sure he remembered me. Then, he said my name and smiled. I let out a huge sigh of relief.

"Danielle?" He got up slowly, studying my face, waiting for my response. I continued to look at him, mesmerized by seeing him in person after the longest time.

"Yes Tommy. It's her. " Brendan finally said laughing, nudging his brother forward.

I was in his arms within seconds. I moved in closer and inhaled cologne, that probably belonged to Brendan, beer, and the faint smell of whiskey.

He took a step back and looked at me with a huge grin on his face. I don't remember seeing him so happy. It was silent. Then, I realized he must have been waiting for me to speak.

"Hey, Tommy." I finally said, laughing. "It's so great to see you again."

Tess, Brendan, Shane, Mike and a few other relatives were all gathered around watching our reunion with smiles on their faces, which made me nervous to say too much. The kids probably heard the commotion too and bustled inside. Paddy slowly followed behind.

"Hmm - you look familiar." He bellowed loudly, making me even more uncomfortable. I hated having all the attention on me.

"Pop, this is Danielle. She lived next door to us in Pittsburgh." Tommy said, pulling me to his side while putting his arm around my shoulder. I blushed, uncomfortably.

"Oh, right. I think I remember. You and her use to sneak around out back and hang out at the park."

"Yeah. That was us, always getting into trouble." I smiled.

I looked over to Brendan, who was obviously ecstatic to see his brother so happy after so long. Tess was saying something to him, but he wasn't listening. He obviously didn't get it, so I looked over at Tess, who then said, "Maybe we should give them some privacy. Right, Brendan.."

He stopped smiling."Oh, right. You guys can catch up in den around back. Dinner will be served in 30 minutes."

"Thanks." I nodded and before I knew it, Tommy's right hand had already took mine, his beer in the other, and began leading me away.

"Uh - maybe you should leave the drink here." Brendan suggested eyeing his brother. His brother slowly complied and was leading me around back. He sat on the leather couch and gestured for me to sit beside him.

When we were alone. I was finally able to look at him without millions of faces around. Then, in that moment, I saw him. My Tommy. That same kid who I used to stay up all night with when he didn't want to be at home. That same guy who gave me my first shot of whiskey - my first cigarette. I finally decided to stop being nervous and try to get back to old times.

"So, how's life?" He asked, as I took a seat. "What have you been up to - for what - the past 10 years? Shit! Has it really been that long?"

"It has," I agreed. "Um - I'm a journalist. I just began writing for the Post and the Inquirer."

"In Philly?"

"Yeah," I nodded.

"Ah, I remember now. You used to love writing."

"Still do - thank God." I paused. "It's nice to see you like this, Tommy." He put his arm around me and I leaned into his chest.

"Like what?"

I paused. "I don't know - happy, I guess. After leaving Brendan, you weren't as happy - But now -"

"That's because of you Dani." He stated loudly. His voice was different now. More loud and booming, kinda like his dad. I blushed.

"No, not because of me - I mean, you're back with Brendan and you're dad. That's got to feel pretty great."

"Yeah, I guess," Tommy shrugged. "I always thought I was pretty okay back then - before mom passed, I guess."

"Were you? When shit at home got worse, I mean you stopped wrestling..."

"Yeah, I stopped wrestling."

"No more chasing Theogenes." I joked.

"Right - right -"

"Then, you left for Tacoma and I mean you were angrier..." I stopped, lifting my head from his chest to search his eyes for a reaction.

"Hey, hey, hey. Not true. When you showed up, I was done with Brendan. It was shit having to start all over, but when I saw you again, it made me a lot happier, honestly. I was a lot worse before you found me."

"Really?" I asked, looking him deeper in the eyes. I was flattered, but tried to not smile too much.

Before we could continue, Tess called out:

"Dinner, everyone!"

* * *

 

_**Tacoma, Washington - March 1996** _

_The night breeze was blowing softly and_ _Tommy and I were hanging out on a street bench a few meters away from my grandparent's place._

_"So this is where you live?"_

_"Yup."_

_"Too bad we can't be neighbours again, huh Dani."_

_"I know, right. It sucks."_

_"No more knocking on your window to help you sneak out."_

_"Actually, you can still do that. It will just take you a little longer to get here." I teased._ _"Wanna know something?"_

_"What?"_

_"Back in Pittsburgh, when we used to hang out after school and stuff, I was never sure about how much you cared...for me"_

_He had been playing with grass, before he stopped abruptly and turned to face me._

_"You, serious, right now?" Tommy asked.  
_

_"Yeah, I'm serious - I mean, I thought i was just an option when your older friends weren't around."_

_"Don't be stupid - I never would have hung out with you if I didn't fucking like you. Especially since you were so damn annoying."_

_"Oh, whatever, Tommy. I mean I know that now - anyways. You still think I'm annoying?"_

_"Nah..." He looked at me and smiled, a glint of something in his eyes._

_"_ _Now, that we're in school together, we can hang out all the time."_

_"Exactly."_

_I stayed quiet, unsure of what to say._

_"Yo, what time is it?" He said as he started to slowly caress my head._

_I looked at my watch. "7:30." I replied._

_"Come on, let's hurry back to my shithole, so you can say hi to my mom." He stood up, grabbing me by my hand._

* * *

 

**PRESENT**

During dinner, we didn't speak a word to each other. We just listened to everyone else.

On occasion, Tommy would rest his hand on mine and play with my fingers, like he used to. It took me by surprise that he was being so forward with someone he hasn't seen in so long. I think he was trying to figure out where we stood. He wanted to see how I would react. The only thing I could do was smile. I could tell that he wanted to get back to how we were before.

"The food was amazing, Tess." Tommy said, when we all had finished.

"Well, thank you." She beamed.

And then he turned to face Brendan. "I really appreciate you doing this, man."

"Oh. don't thank me. It was actually all Tess' idea."

Everyone was relaxing and making conversation, when I saw an opportunity to get him alone.

"Walk with me." I smiled. He looked at me and nodded before standing up.


	6. The Last Time We Saw Each Other

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy and Danielle remember the last time they saw each other. :)

**Chapter Theme Song:** Lana Del Rey - Burning Desire (You ask me where I've been? I been everywhere. I don't wanna be no where but here.)

**{Tommy}  
**

"Walk with me."

I looked at her and nodded before I stood up.

When we got outside, we walked down the path and turned right. It was chilly, so I had my hands in my pockets.

When we turned a corner she finally asked me.

"So - do you remember the last time we saw each other?"

"Yeah - I think so."

It was the day I told her I was joining the marines. I hadn't really thought about it until now. I tried not to. The memories came flooding back and I realized there were a lot of things I wanted her to know. I just hoped she hadn't blamed me for not sticking around.

"I really didn't think it would be the last time I saw you. I mean, at the time, I knew that you were upset with me, but I just shrugged it off. I just didn't remember that you could be gone by the time I came back" I laughed. "I hoped that when I was done and I came home, that you'd still be there -"

She smiled, solemnly. "Tommy - "

"...Wishful thinking, I guess - And when you weren't - I just had to face the fact that I wasn't gonna see you again."

"That wasn't your fault, you know. I mean I didn't think either. I was so upset with you for leaving that I didn't bother to say anything to you. I didn't show up that morning you left, to say goodbye and I regretted it ever since."

"I know - I know. When you gave me the silent treatment. I thought - whatever, I just figured, you know, you would come over in the morning, like you always did, every time we fought."

Danielle suddenly turned away from me. "And, I didn't - because I was just so angry with you. I wasn't gonna see you for so long and you were gonna miss my graduation and..."

"I know -" Tears were forming in her eyes, so I had to stop her right there. "Come on, don't do that. It's okay -it's okay." We stopped walking and I took her in my arms.

"We don't have to talk about that no more. Only the good times. It means nothing now."

"I know, but -" She sputtered.

Having her in my arms felt right, though I couldn't deny that there was one thing I needed to ask her. But then, that moment, I decided, she was exactly what I was missing.

**{Danielle}**

During our walk, Tommy was being so open with me, thought it could have just been because he was a little drunk. I realized that there was one thing I couldn't deny. Why couldn't I just come out and say it. It's not like there's anyone else. There never was.

_I wanna be with you Tommy._

Why couldn't I just say that. I mean, I know we haven't seen each other in a while, but I loved him... there was no denying that. I wasn't planning on leaving him anytime soon and being with him, was starting to feel more right. I switched jobs for him for Pete's sake! I knew I loved him before, but I was young and would never admit it. I knew he loved me before but now...I couldn't be sure. I didn't want to take the risk of being rejected. What if he never sees me the way he used to? We had been a part for so long. What if he doesn't remember me the way he used to? When we got back, everyone was saying their goodbyes.

"Hey, there he is. Where you been? - We're heading out." Shane called on his way out with Mike.

"Take care, man." He patted their backs goodbye, as I moved off to the side.

"We'll keep in touch...Brendan, Tommy... take care of yourselves."

"We will, Leo." Brendan replied, hugging his relatives.

"I should get the kids to bed. Our flight is in the morning. You have a good night, Tommy." Pilar exclaimed.

"Alright, take care." He kissed her on the cheek and hugged the kids goodbye.

"Thank you for inviting me. Brendan - Tess. It was nice to see you again. I know the kids really had fun." Pilar added.

"No, problem. Have a good night." Brendan turned to her.

"Oh! Pilar, don't forget to send me that recipe."

"Don't worry, I won't." She laughed. She turned towards me. "It was nice to meet you Danielle."

"You too, have a nice night." I replied.

The front hall was slowly emptying.

"Thanks for coming everyone." Brendan called out the door.

"I"ll see you kids soon, okay? Be good for mom and dad." Paddy hugged Emily and Rosie.

"Bye, grandpa." They said in unison.

Paddy turned to Brendan.

"Thanks, for inviting me son."

"No problem. I know Tommy wanted you here."

"I'll see you around, pop." Tommy said, hugging his dad. Brendan walked his father to his car.

"You two...it's bedtime, so upstairs." Tess shooed her energetic children upstairs. I still just stood watching.

After everyone had left Brendan, Tommy and I, made our way to the living room couch.

"So... how exactly did you guys meet up?" Tommy asked.

Brendan and I looked at each other.

"Um - we actually bumped into each other at a grocery store nearby. I was headed to Pittsburgh, though. I was on my way to ask around about you. I - um - really wanted to see you again, I guess."

He smiled, obviously pleased that I was willing to go through so much effort to find him. I tried not to mention that I saw him on the news or anything about the fight.

"Yeah -" Brendan added. "We said hi, got caught up, and then I told her about how we were planning a little get together. Told her, you would love to see her again. Couldn't stop thinking about how weird it was seeing her so grown up."

* * *

 

_**Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania February 1996** _

_Ever since Tommy left, it felt as though every time Brendan saw me, he got pissed at me for reminding him of Tommy._ _Reminding him, that neither his brother or own mother had bothered to call him. It wasn't my fault._ _Like that time, last year, when he told to leave the park for no reason. I mean, who the hell did he think he was? I can go wherever the hell I want. Just because he doesn't want to see me, doesn't mean I have to leave whenever he says._ _He was also pissed because he dad wouldn't train him. Not my fault, either._ _It was a cold, winter morning and I saw him walking to the bus stop._

_"Hey, Brendan!" I called out to him smugly. He ignored me and continued to walk._

_"You don't wanna hear what I have to say." I said running after him. I was just itching to see his reaction to what I would tell him._

_"No." He said, sternly._

_"Are you sure about that?"_

_I finally blurted it out._

_"I'm moving to where Tommy is!" I yelled._

_He stopped dead in his tracks. I grinned with evil satisfaction and I waited for him to turn around. He didn't._

_"Tell Tommy and my mom, I say Hi,"  he replied before walking away._ _He was trying to act like it didn't bother him that I was going to see his brother before he did. I knew better._

* * *

 

**PRESENT**

"So, are you staying here?" I asked him, wondering if I would have to endure Tess and Brendan every time I wanted to see him. Not that I had a problem with it. They were a nice couple.

"No -" He paused. "Brendan got me a place."

"Oh, wow!. That's really nice of you." I knew Brendan had won the money, but I never expected him to buy a place for Tommy - give him the money maybe. Well, Brendan seemed like the controlling type of big brother anyway...always wanting to "help". I smiled.

"Nothing big, just an apartment on Howard street. I can take you down in the morning, Tommy." Brendan added.

"Nah, man. Don't worry about it. Dani can take me." He rubbed his hand across the small of my back.

I looked over at him. _If you say so, I thought._

My stomach flipped.


	7. In Your Arms Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy and Danielle check out his place. Eighteen year old Tommy tells Dani he's joining the marines.

Chapter Theme Song: Drake - Cece's Interlude (All night I've been staring, can you tell I want you?)

**{Danielle}**

"Can we stop to pick something up?" Tommy asked me, once we were in the car.

"Yeah, sure. What are we getting?"

"Just a few things... like extra toothbrushes and whatnot...some groceries...I don't know if anywhere 'round here's open..." I peered at him through the corner of my eye and could have sworn I saw his mouth form a small grin.

I blushed and looked forward. Was he implying that I was staying the night? Not that I was complaining. I was too tired to make a second trip anyway.

* * *

 

_**April 1998** _

_** ** _

_Tommy furiously walked into my room, and shut the door._

_"Hey, not so freaking loud. I don't get what you're so upset about."_

_"Are you fucking stupid? Why would you fuck a guy like Tyler? After everything my mom went thr..." He began._

_"What are you talking about?" I asked, folding my arms._

_"I know him, he beats the crap out of his girlfriends." He paused. "Is he the first guy you've..."_

_"No", I said quickly. He looked hurt for a quick second and walked towards my closet. Then, he turned back around to face me, still visibly upset. I didn't have the guts to tell him that I had never done any of that stuff yet._

_"God, relax Tommy! I didn't know! Anyway, he never hit me." I shrugged._

_"Don't tell me to fucking relax. I want you to stay away from him."_

_"Alright!" I screamed by accident. I just wanted him to shut the hell up. My mom was in the kitchen and I didn't want her to hear._

_"But, why the hell are you telling me? Shouldn't you yell at him?" I asked, quieter this time._

_"I already did...I broke his fucking nose."_

_"Shit..." I said. He began to look away from me, finally calming down._

_"I get it, he's bad news. I'll stay away from him." I assured him, moving closer and hugging him. He reluctantly hugged me back._

_"Promise me." He said._

_"I promise." I said, looking up from his chest._

* * *

 

**PRESENT**

"Key, please?" I grinned up at Tommy and he handed it to me.

I carefully opened the door. "After you." I let him go in first, while I carried the two bags.

"Jesus, look at this place."

When I got inside, I followed his gaze. "Wow, they really outdid themselves. They even bought you furniture and everything."

"Yeah...this is definitely better than prison...Uh you can put the bags down on the counter." He said probably regretting mentioning it.

I walked into the modernly decorated kitchen, put the bags down and started to look around.

"It's beautiful. I thought Brendan said it was nothing big..."

He shrugged. "Well, he's got the money, so..."

After examining the place, we finally reached the bedroom and Tommy sat down on the bed.

"Oh, I just remembered! I have something to give you." I told him as I reached into my bag.

"What?"

I took out a framed photograph that Anna took of me and handed it to him.

"Ahhh..." He said picking it up to have a look. "It's nice." He said, while making his way over to the of bed to lie down.

"Yeah..." I crossed my arms. "So you know where you're puttin' it then?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

He laughed. "Yeah I do. Right here." He reached his arm out and put on the bedside table. "First thing I see in the morning." He stated.

"Good." I replied with satisfaction.

I joined him and we both started to stare at the ceiling. I sighed loudly, which made him chuckle. I glanced over and he was staring at me.

"What?" I asked, turning to him.

"Nothing." He said softly.

* * *

 

_**May 1998** _

_I was sitting on my front porch when Tommy came bustling around the corner. Fresh from work, carrying a duffel bag and still in his fast food uniform._

_"Jesus, what the hell did you do to your head?" Tommy asked. He was referring to my extra-fried straight hair. A far cry from my usual curly dark brown locks._

_"What, you don't like it?" I looked up at him, with one of my eyes shut due to the blinding sunset._

_Tommy came up the steps and sat beside me. He began to pat the top of my unusually flat hair. It sent a shiver down my spine._

_"No. Now you look like one of those bimbos at school." He said shoving my head forward._

_"Ow!You know what, Tommy?" I laughed. "Fuck you. I'm nothing like those girls." I laughed pushing him back._

_"Yeah, I know," He sighed. "Let's go inside." He stood up._

_"Yeah, and you better change before your ass sits on my bed." I told him._

_Tommy went straight to my room while I stopped at the bathroom to dunk my head under the shower. I quickly dried it with a towel._

_I walked into the room, hair still a little wet, but back to it's curly state, to see Tommy turned around with his shirt off - about to put a white t-shirt over his neck. He stuck his head through, followed by his arms and I watched the fabric fall smoothly over his back._

_He didn't seem to have noticed me enter and then proceeded to do a belly flop onto the bed, his face landing in the pillows._

_"Hey!" I called out._

_"What?" Caught off guard, he flipped around onto his back._

_"Happy?" I asked with a smirk._

_I crawled on as well and moved closer to him. "No, cuz now you're getting me wet."_

_"You bet I am." I turned to him with a cheeky grin on my face._

_"Shutup Dani."_

_I nestled my head deeper into his neck. We both lay back on the bed, staring at the began to play with my fingers._

_"Hey, Dani? Can you promise me something?"_

_"Promise you what?" I turned to him. I realized the change in his voice meant something serious. Every time Tommy got serious I knew it was either because he was thinking about his mom, or his brother._

_"That you won't ever stay with a man who puts his hands on you."_

_I was silent for a moment. Where was this even coming from?_

_He finally turned to me. "You'd tell me right...if some guy ever hurt you?"_

_"Of course," I whispered hoarsely. "You would be the first person I go to."_

_"Good. I just wanted to make sure." He whispered into my hair._

_Then he softly kissed the top of my head. "I just don't want you to end up like.." He stopped._

_"Your mom?" I asked. He didn't say anything._

_We stayed quiet for a good while after that._

_"Um Tommy?" I asked, wanting to change the subject. "Shane told me you hooked up with Cassie Erikson." I said smiling a little._

_"Did he?"_

_"Isn't she one in your English class?" He nodded. "You fucked her?!" I asked._

_"No." He denied, flatly._

_"You did!" I shouted out, sitting up on the bed._

_"Nah, man. She's a bit of whore. I don't fuck whores."_

_I gasped. "How rude! Don't call her that, Tommy." I hit him in the chest. "Say she's... easily penetrable. If that even makes sense."_

_"Alright. So that's the kinda guy you think I am. The kind of guy who likes girls who are easy." He questioned._

_"No... I just..." I started to say._

_"No, no... I see how it is." He smiled at me. He was purposely trying to annoy me._

_I frowned. "Shut up Tommy. I didn't say that."_

_"Anyway, I like girls who are a challenge." He began._

_"A challenge? Meaning what?" I asked._

_"Girls that don't have to do a thing, but can make a man pine for them for the rest of his life."_

* * *

 

**PRESENT**

We inched closer together and he wrapped his arm around my shoulders. I then rested my head on his chest, wanting to so much, to be closer to him.

"This feels nice." I told him.

"Yeah." he grumbled softly.

Remembering that he must be exhausted, I made a motion to try to pull the covers out from under us, but he stopped me.

"It's OK, I got it, you just turn off the light." He whispered.

_**Tacoma, Washington June 1998 - Henry Foss High School** _

It was a warm afternoon and the final bell had just rung. The school year was over and I was getting the last few things from my locker. Within minutes, Tommy was beside my locker. He had graduated a couple days ago, but he still stopped by to see me. I was smiling because I had so much to tell him.

I was about to turn my head to say hello, when he spoke.

"I'm joining the marines."

My heart stopped. I stared straight into my locker and didn't move. I was silent. I couldn't believe after everything we'd been though, he was leaving me again. My palms began sweating and I felt sick. This was just like Pittsburgh all over again.

"Hello...did you hear me?" My finger clenched the locker door.

Why the hell was this was the first I was hearing about it? I mean, I knew he was impulsive, but did he really think this through?

"Alright, be like that... but I know what you're thinking and it's not just some sudden decision. I've been planning it for a while."

Planning it for a while... and you just decided to tell me today? Fuck off, Tommy. I wasn't going to reply to him. I wasn't going to say anything.

"And you know there's nothing left here for me now."

Yeah, except me, I thought.

He laughed at my silence. "Whatever, I leave early tomorrow morning, so drop by my place. Fucking landlord cant wait to get rid of me..." he mumbled. "Anyway, I gotta go."

He kissed me on the cheek and I didn't move.

He sighed. "Don't be late."

Well guess what? I won't be there, you asshole. He looked at me one last time before he took off.

 _Don't be late_. That was the last thing he said to me. It played over and over in my head for months.

I purposely woke up late the next morning and I knew Tommy was already gone. I tried to tell myself that it didn't bother me. Once I graduated, I was leaving this place and never coming back. It didn't work. Why didn't I say goodbye to him? Tell him he could find me in some random city...some city that I just might be living in, in five...ten years. Now, I would never know how to find him. I would lose him again. I cried everyday for the next two weeks.

I knew that I would eventually forget the sound of his voice. I would try to remember it and tell myself that I had it right, but deep down I would know it wasn't the same.

I tried to tell myself that I would see him again, but I knew it was a lie.

 


	8. No One Else

Chapter 8

**Chapter Theme Song 1:** Mumford  & Sons - Ghosts That We Knew (You saw my pain washed out in the rain. Broken glass, saw the blood run from my veins. But you saw no fault, no cracks in my heart. And you knelt beside my hope torn apart.)

_**Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania 1994** _

_It was seven pm on a school night and I was trying to figure out how to solve a stupid math equation. The sixth grade wasn't even that hard, but I hated multiplication and never really studied it when I was supposed to. I reached for my calculator and began typing in the numbers. I heard a thud coming from out the window and I kissed my teeth, but then I heard something else. I heard loud banging noises and the sound of loud voice. I knew exactly who it was._

_"I'm sorry - I'm sorry!", those were the words I kept hearing. There were other words being said, but not that I could make out. I tried not to eavesdrop...pretend that I couldn't hear, but it was no use._

_"Do I have to tell you the same damn thing everyday?!" barked Paddy._

_I heard more thuds - she let out a cry of pain. I felt guilty for listening, but there was nothing I could do to avoid it._ _I turned on the radio. It drowned it out, but that didn't do anything to make it stop. I knew it was still happening. My eyes were watering. I wanted to do something - call the cops, maybe, but I didn't move. I never did._ _Poor Carol. I buried my face into my pillow and tried to fall asleep, but then I thought...Tommy. I ran downstairs and went out through the back door and sure enough, he was there. Sitting on my back porch. He had no expression on his face and was just sitting quietly. He turned to me when he heard the door open._

_"Sorry," he said calmly._

_"Don't worry about it, my mom's asleep."_

_I didn't say anything after that. I didn't know anything about comforting people... so I sat beside him and we waited until it was over._

_**Tacoma, Washington May 1997** _

_"Stop it." I said giving him a disapproving look. I leaned back against my headboard and tried to sit more comfortably on my bed._

_"Stop what?"_

_"I know you're thinking about him. I know it. You get that look."_

_"I'm not."_

_"Do you wanna talk about it?" I asked him, unsure if it was OK to bring it up._

_"No." He said without any hesitation._

_"You never talked to me about it before." After a few moments of silence, he finally spoke._

_"We had a plan, you know. We were all supposed to leave that night. My mom talked to us about it - she told us that she threatened to call the cops and all we had to do was pack our stuff and leave. She needed Brendan, she still does. She tries to hide it, but I know she misses him." He paused. "And I hate him for doing that to her...I hate him for abandoning her just so he could stay with Tess. He chose some girl over family - that's something I'll never be able to understand."_

_"I know you think you hate him, but you're just hurting Tommy. It's okay to admit that you miss him too -"_

_His eyes became wet. I didn't know how to react...If I should hug him or if we should just sit in silence. I could never tell with Tommy. Sometimes he was so caring and sometimes he could be cold. I cautiously took a chance anyway and put my hand on his, but he pushed it away._

_"Stop it, Tommy. You don't have to be hard-ass with me. I won't judge you." I tried to sound as comforting as possible._

_Before I knew it, he was in my arms and crying into my chest. I had never seen him cry before in all the years that I knew him._

_I was so happy that he was opening up to me - that he felt he could trust me. I wrapped my arms around held him as close as I could. "It's gonna be okay, Tommy." He lifted his head so we were on the same level and he looked me straight in the eye. I saw an emotion in his eyes, but I couldn't tell what it was. Was he going to get upset? Was he going to leave? He did neither. He said nothing so I uncomfortably tried to looked away._

_That's when he kissed me. He pulled me over his leg so I was sitting on top of him. He slowly lifted my shirt and started on my jeans. He kept kissing me and I felt his warm tears on my face. Of course I liked it. It felt good, but I was also scared. We never kissed before. We don't kiss. We're Dani and Tommy and we're just friends. That's how it's always been._

_"Tommy, wait." I stopped him._

_He moved away and looked at me, still bleary eyed. "Yeah?"_

_"I'm sorry Tommy - I totally forgot..." I stood up._

_"Forgot what?"_

_"I'm suppose to meet someone." I turned my back to him and started getting dressed._

_"Who the hell are you meeting at this time!?" He asked, probably thinking I was joking._

_"James Patterson."_

_"You're seeing him?"_

_"Yes, why?" I asked confused._

_"No reason." I studied his face before I opened the door._

_"I'll see you tomorrow then."_

_We never talked about it at all after that. It definitely brought us closer together, but the next day, it was as though it never happened. We went back to normal._

* * *

 

**PRESENT**

**Chapter Theme Song 2: The Pretty Reckless - Heart (Always wanted to be, always wanted you to see my heart. Always wanted your love, always wanted but never was.)**

** **

Tommy had already showered and was coming out of the bathroom when I woke up. He had gotten rid of his beard. I couldn't help but smile at him.

"Morning."

"Morning." He said quietly.

I went past him to go brush my teeth and get cleaned up. After I was done, I came out and saw that he was making coffee and taking a few things out of the fridge. I walked in.

"I see Brendan and Tess did a little shopping. Need some help?" He stopped and looked at me, with a look I didn't recognize.

"What is it?" I asked smiling.

"What exactly have you been up to these past ten years?"

"What have you been up to?" I teased, but Tommy wasn't smiling.

My smile faded. _Please don't start._

"I already told you - I've been writing and..."

"Nah, that's not what I mean." I looked at him puzzled. "Don't try to tell me you've been in Philly this whole time, being a journalist and typing away on your little computer." He was clearly upset about something.

"Umm, no, I.."

"That's right, so what were you doing - after I left."

My face became hot. "I graduated Tommy, " I spit out, my tone becoming angrier over his attitude. "My whole family was there, everyone except for you." I tried to calm down, not wanting to bring it up again.

"Don't start with that. Anyways, that's not what I mean," he said turning away.

"What, you asked me, so I told you." I replied back.

"So, what? You've been pissed at me ever since?"

"No, not ever. I get that - this - what happened to us. That was my fault too, I know that - but Tommy, we were kids..."

"Just forget it. That's not what I mean."

"Then, what?"

He paused, then finally asked. "You seeing someone?"

"No." I sighed quietly, finally seeing what he was getting at.

"But, in the past you have?"

"No, Tommy - I lived under a freaking rock. I can't believe you right now! We haven't even been together for 24 hours and you're already trying to piss me off!"

He ignored me. "How long ago?"

"I don't know, maybe a year and a half ago."

"So, what happened?"

"We broke up, that's what happened. What's with the twenty questions? I'm not asking _you_ what you've been up to for the past ten years."

"What do you wanna know, I'll tell you." He said smugly.

"No, that's the thing Tommy I don't want to know...'cause it doesn't matter. I don't wanna know about how many whores you've fucked, or about Iraq or what fuck prison was like, or- "

"See, that's the thing Dani...you used to love hearing my problems. I would always come to you and you would tell me everything was gonna be OK and all that shit .You know you're the first person I ever cried in front of..."

"You sound like a fucking asshole right now - what have you been smoking?" I sighed. " Just please, don't be like this."

"Like what!?"

"You're upset with me...for reasons I don't know. What happened to leaving things in the past like you said?"

* * *

 

**{Tommy}**

She was right. I was upset. All I could think about was the fact that she was with other guys. I tried not to, seeing as though we were never a couple and we never actually admitted our feelings to each other.

It shouldn't have even been a problem, considering the fact that I refused to think about her since. But, on lonely nights, when I was in Iraq or before Sparta when I was getting drunk night after night or even during when I would run in the morning and pass that same park we use to hang out at. I'll admit that I did. I did think about her - if only for a second.

I wondered what she looked like. What she was up to. If she was with someone. If she loved them. If she was engaged or married or had kids...

"Do you have something you want to say to me Tommy?"

"Say to you - say to you? What the fuck do you think I want to say to you?!" I couldn't believe she was acting like she never knew how I felt about her - how we felt about each other. I sighed. "I should have told you."

"Told me what?"

"You know what I mean."

* * *

 

**{Danielle}**

He was right, I did know. I let out a breath before I spoke.

"Who cares about all the guys in the past, Tommy. It doesn't mean anything now. You're who I want to be with."

I couldn't believe what just came out of my mouth. Did I really just put it all out there like that? So soon? Oh crap, what was I thinking?

_After all these years, was I finally admitting how I felt? Was he?_

* * *


	9. Right On Time

**Chapter Theme Song:** Lana Del Rey - Burning Desire (Can you make me feel like home, if I tell you your mine.)

He was right, I did know. I let out a breath before I spoke.

"Who cares about all the guys in the past, Tommy. It doesn't mean anything now. You're who I want to be with." I couldn't believe what just came out of my mouth. Did I really just put it all out there like that? So soon? Oh crap, what was I thinking? _After all these years, was I finally admitting how I felt? Was he?_

* * *

**{Danielle}**

After I spoke, he just stared at me with those hard eyes. Finally, he turned and furiously headed towards the door. I sighed. _Great, he's leaving._

Then, he made a u-turn and grabbed my face so I was looking into his eyes. I didn't move. I couldn't. He began to brush his thumb along my jaw line. I shivered, feeling as though I couldn't breathe.

He pulled his face closer to mine and I could feel his warm breath on my face. Finally, he crushed his lips to mine in a fast and quick movement. I responded immediately and deepened the kiss. My heart was racing. The kiss felt amazing. His lips were just as soft as I remembered and I could feel his desperation with every motion his moth mad. He moved his hands to my waist and pulled me closer. I placed my hands on his shoulders for support. I didn't want it to end.

Then, the phone rang. He slowly pulled away and went to answer it.

"Hello?" He said, clearly annoyed. I grinned and looked down.

"Hey, Tommy. It's Brendan."

"Hey, how's it going?"

"Good. So how do you like the place?"

"It's nice. I really appreciate it."

"I'm glad - So,Tess and I were wondering if you wanted to meet up for breakfast."

He turned to look at me. _Why not_ , I mouthed to him. He smiled. "Sure, why not?"

* * *

After I had gotten out of the shower, I grabbed a towel and went to Tommy's room to get grab some of his clothes. I would have to stop by my sister's on the way. That's where my stuff were.

I saw that Tommy unpacked some of his clothes, so I opened the closest drawer to me to find something. There wasn't much, so I just reached for the second top I saw and stopped when I felt something. I took the shirt off of it and saw two orange pill bottles. The one that had no label on it was practically half empty. The other read Prazosin. It was close to full.

Just then. I heard a knock on the door that startled me. I closed the drawer as fast as I could.

"You ready to go?"

"Yeah one minute." I called out.

* * *

Tommy and I walked into the café to see that Tess and Brendan were already waiting near the back of the restaurant. Tommy walked in first and I followed behind him. Brendan was distracted so Tess nudged his leg slightly when she saw me.

"Over here." She called out as they both stood up.

"Morning." I said cheerfully.

"Hi, how are you guys?" Tess approached me with a hug. "It's nice to see you again, Danielle."

"You too." I replied, while Tommy greeted his brother and then, sister-in-law.

"Danielle." Brendan, said my name, then hugged me as well.

We ordered our food and we ate silently for the most part, except for the occasional small talk here and there. It was mostly between Tess and I or Brendan and I or Brendan and Tess. Tommy stayed quiet and no one seemed to mind. That's how he was.

Brendan gestured that Tommy follow him outside. "Ladies - can you excuse us for a moment." Tommy squeezed my thigh before he got up.

"Have fun." I joked.

* * *

They both leaned against the window of the café and Tommy flicked the toothpick in mouth back and forth.

"What is it?" Tommy asked.

"I know it's kinda early, but I was wondering what your plans are - for the future. Are you planning to go back to school or -?"

Tommy didn't say anything.

"It's - well, I got you a car, but I need to know that you'll be able to keep up with the payments."

No reply.

"What are you going to do about work, rent - ?"

Still nothing.

"Come on, Tommy. You gotta give me something."

"I'll figure something out. You don't have to worry about me."

Brendan sighed. "Good. Good. That's all I wanted to hear."

* * *

**Inside the Cafe**

"I was wondering - um did you spend the night at Tommy's place?" Tess asked me as soon as they were gone.

I nodded. "Nothing happened, if that's what you're thinking."

She laughed. "I soooo was not thinking that."

"It was pretty late, so that's why I stayed - in case you were wondering." I said.

"Oh, you don't have to explain it to me, hun. It's really not my business. Just curious that's all."

I nodded.

"I think it's great though." She added. "If you do decide to get together. I know I only just met you, but I think you could be good for him."

I smiled. "Thanks."

* * *

**Outside**

"So - Is Dani heading back to New York soon?"

"New York? Why would she be going there?"

"Yeah, when we met she told me she worked for the Times."

"She told me it was the Philly Inquirer."

"Oh, well I guess it's the inquirer now. She told me that months ago, anyway."

"Six - it was six months ago, wasn't it?"

"Yeah..." Brendan replied confused.

He nodded. "Are we finished?"

"Yeah, let's head back."

* * *

Tommy and Brendan came back and took their seats. Tommy seemed a bit agitated. "Dani, you ready to go? I wanna head out for a run soon."

I nodded. "Yeah, I'm done. Let's go."

"You know you can work out at my gym, Tommy. I mean, if you want. Frank would be happy to have you." Brendan suggested.

"I'm good," was all Tommy said.

"You sure?"

"I'm fine with running."

I turned to Tommy, trying to change the subject. "Well, I was gonna ask you if he could help me move some things from my sister's place -"

"To your new place?" Tommy asked.

"Yeah I got it two months ago - but since you're busy - maybe Brendan...?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Can you help? That would be so amazing. I was thinking around 3 PM, today."

"Today?" Tommy seemed surprised.

"Yeah, why?" I whispered to him.

"No problem. Tess and I can drop by then." Brendan agreed.

We all got up to leave, then Brendan stopped me, while Tess and Tommy waited outside.

* * *

"Yeah, Brendan. What's up?"

"There's something I wanted to ask -"

"Go, ahead." I replied, knowing exactly what he was getting at.

"Are you and Tommy - you know, together?"

I blushed. "The answer is yes, well sort of - I think. I mean we kissed." I said embarrassed. "Kinda fast, right?"

"Ah...To each their own, I guess." He began to smile.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing. It's just that I think you'll be good for him. You're exactly what he needs right now." I laughed, realizing that Brendan and Tess had probably already discussed Tommy and I's relationship before.

"You can't know that. You barely even know me and the last time you saw me I was fourteen. I could be a psycho now, for all you know." I teased.

He laughed. "Ah. Then I guess it won't be that different from twelve years ago -"

"Whatever." I said grinning.

There was a pause.

"You don't think I was too late, do you?" I asked, hoping he knew that I was referring to Tommy.

Brendan shook his head. "No, I think you're right on time."


	10. Don't Think Too Much

Brendan drove Tommy's car to the apartment, while Tess followed behind. I drove ahead. Tommy still had to renew his license, so Brendan parked it in the parking garage for him. Tommy didn't come with us, he just nodded and took off jogging down the street. Brendan told me that I would probably have to get used to that.

I stopped by my office to drop something off. I rarely ever need to be in the office, I usually just email everything to my boss. I stayed a little longer in the office than expected to catch up with co-workers, but I left by 2 PM. Then, I went back to Tommy's. He wasn't there so I assumed he was still out. It had been two hours since breakfast. I didn't have the key so I went back downstairs to the front lobby to wait for Brendan and Tess so I could lead them to my sister's.

I was more tired than I had ever been in my life. My arms were limp from carrying boxes. We had to make a few trips from my sister's house to mine. Tess, Brendan, Anna, James and I were exhausted by the time we had finished. I knew Anna was probably glad to not have my boxes and furniture crowding her garage anymore.

The whole day I thought about what Tess and Brendan had said to me. _I think you could be good for him. You're exactly what he needs right now._

I couldn't lie, that really made me happy inside. Tommy and I together? I was starting to think about what it would actually be like to be in a relationship with Tommy. Not boy Tommy, but with Tommy, the strong, caring passionate, man. I prayed it wouldn't be harder this time around - to get closer to him. I knew about all the things he went through in Iraq and he just got out of prison for god's sake. I really hoped that it hadn't completely hardened him. I knew he was excited to see me and was opening up more , but I couldn't be sure.

I was never sure of anything with Tommy.

When I got back it was about 7 PM. The only light in the room was coming from the TV and the slightly open curtain. Tommy was sitting on the couch watching _Two and a Half Men_. I grinned. He looked so relaxed. I kept quiet and stood by the door watching him. I couldn't help but smile. I was silent as I walked over, trying not to disturb him. I bumped my hip on the counter. He heard me and turned around, but didn't say anything. I hope he didn't think I was trying to sneak past him.

"Sorry, I didn't want to disturb you. Looked like you were enjoying it."

"No, it's cool. You should join me." He moved some magazines to the floor to make room. _What am I going to say? What is he going to say?_ Why didn't I think about this _before_ I came back to his place?

I sat down. I expected him to turn back to the TV. He didn't. I pretended to watch the TV, but I could feel his eyes on me. I looked down. I was never this nervous around him before _. Fuck!_ He knew he was making me anxious and knowing him, he would make me speak first, just to piss me off. He knew how awkward I could be. He was probably laughing inside. Anna would never believe this. _Danielle - my drop dead gorgeous sister_ , she would say, _the one who has men falling at her feet, has some guy, nevertheless Tommy Conlon, making her shake in her boots._

I couldn't believe it either, actually. Then again, Tommy was in a league of his own. Finally, I took a deep breath.

"About this morning - " I started, finally turning to him.

"Yeah." He was really going to make me do all the work. I was really annoyed.

"I - Um - about the -" I stopped, hoping he would finally say something that actually added to the conversation.

"The what?" He asked sternly, like he didn't know what I was talking about. He was purposely making me sweat. I rolled my eyes and smirked.

"You know what I'm taking about, Tommy."

"Do I?" He asked, finally starting to smile a little.

How exactly was this going to go? Do I say I want to be with him, that sounded too presumptuous. What if he didn't want to be with me and it was just a one time thing. Or maybe he thought I wouldn't want to be with him and he was too scared to say anything. Oh, god - I hope he didn't think that.  
I finally settled on what to say.

"You know that I love you, right Tommy." I stopped. It sounded like I was turning him down. _Not a good way to start_ , I thought. He looked away for a second. "I mean - I want to be with you, Tommy -" I said quickly while grabbing his fingers. "Relax." I stopped myself. "I mean if that's what you want." He gave me a _really?_ , look. Like I should have known that it was obviously what he wanted.

I was staring to wonder if I maybe should have told him the next day, considering the fact that I was heading back home after visiting. _Oh, by the way, I love you Tommy, but I'm going home now. Bye._ I mean, I couldn't stay at his place forever because I just came back into his life and it would be weird. I didn't want to be clingy. I heard him sigh of relief before he looked at me and smiled. I waited.

"Come here." He pulled me under his arms and I cuddled into his chest. He tilted my chin up slightly and began kissing my lips gently. Then, he leaned back and we continued to watch TV.

* * *

_**{Tommy}** _

_**Tacoma, Washington - September 1997** _

_"Miss Riordan, I'm afraid I have some bad news."_

_I looked over at my mom._

_"Tommy, can you give us a moment?"_

_I nodded. "Um, sure." I said warily, but I stayed close to the door to listen._

_"What is it?"_

_"I'm sorry to tell you this, but it's heart failure."_

_"Oh god." I heard her start to cry._

_"I know this is quite unusual for someone your age. Thirty nine is quite young."_

_She didn't say anything._

_"I know you don't have any insurance and your welfare isn't going to cover the surgery, but we can still put you on a waiting list for some sort of aid. We can figure out some kind of payment plan where you can pay a little at at time..."_

_She tried to hold back her tears."And how long could that take?"_

_"It can be weeks or months, maybe longer. We usually get something within weeks."_

_She nodded. "Is there anything else you can do. You do know about my..." She paused. "Brain damage." She said quietly. "I can't work."_

_Brain damage?, I thought angrily. Why the hell didn't she tell me?_

_"I'm aware, Miss Riordan. What about your son? Tommy, is it? Maybe he can help you a little more."_

_"He helps enough." She spat back._

_"Miss Rior-"_

_"No, I understand. Thank you."_

* * *

_"So, what are you going to do?_

_"I don't know, Tommy."_

_"What do you mean you don't know?" She shook her head._

_"Mom, I know you can't work, but I can start taking extra shifts at..."_

_"You don't have to do that Tommy. I'm taking care of it."_

_"Mom," He said sternly. "I can help."_

_"I don't want you doing that Tommy. I don't want you to miss out on things because your busy taking care of me. You work hard enough. I want you to focus more on school."_

_"Are you serious?"_

_"Tommy, I will take care of it, just get to bed. Aren't you walking to school with Dani in the morning?"_

* * *

**{Danielle}  
**

**PRESENT - 3 Days Later**

Tommy just happened to be coming out of the shower when I stopped by.

"Knock. Knock" I shouted as I walked in. "You know the door's open, right?"

I bumped into him when I turned the corner. "Oh."

"Hey, babe," He said groggily. He called me _babe._ I think I could get use to that.

"Oh! Hey. I'm sorry...I just came by to check on you and the door was open."

I stopped. He was practically naked. We were sort of together now, but I still felt uncomfortable.

"It's fine."

I tried to keep my eyes from falling to his slightly glistening chest. He could tell I was staring. He smirked.

"So, what are you up to Danielle?" He said while walking towards his bedroom to get dressed. The way he pronounced my name bothered me. Was he mocking me? I followed anyway.

"Oh, by the way, I got what you asked for." I reached into the plastic bag I had. He opened his dresser and reached for something. Oh - right. "I'll just wait outside," I replied as I headed for the door.

"Wait." He turned me around to face him and kicked the door closed with his foot.

I didn't make any movements and just stared at him, but I knew what he was doing. He pushed me up against the wall and was looking directly into my eyes. I could feel his erection against my thigh.

Then he reached up to slowly to push my hair from my eyes. His hand caressed my face and I found myself leaning in towards his touch. So gently, that I barely noticed his lips brush against my forehead. Subconsciously, I moved myself closer to Tommy, so when he laid his forehead against mine, we were now staring directly into each other's eyes. So many emotions were flashing through his eyes - sadness, confusion and fear. Feelings I know all too well, but as I looked deeper, I saw something else as well. Passion. Desire. Love.

"You're so beautiful," he whispered, before placing a soft, unsure kiss on my lips.

Then, I started to think. When was the last time I even... Never mind, I didn't even want to think about it. Tommy began to slowly lift the hem of my shirt, all while brushing his fingers gently up my abdomen. I wanted him so bad.

He began to pull me closer.

Finally, he lifted my shirt over my head. I hastily tried to speed up the process of undressing by unbuttoning my jeans. After all, he was already naked.

He smirked at my eagerness, but took my hands away from my jeans and into his. He started to pull me back, towards the bed. Stopping at the foot of the bed, he trailed his hands along my back and stopped to undo my bra.

Cupping his face with my hands, I slowly leaned in, but hesitated as my lips hovered in front of his. Without warning, he crashed his lips into mine holding me close, as if he thought I would disappear into thin air.

He licked my lip begging for entrance, which I eagerly granted. As I did, his fighting for control only deepened the kiss.

He paused to take a breath and gently unclothed me with caution, yet as slowly as he went, there was not a single moment of hesitation. With the both of us exposed, I finally took the chance to admire his beautiful body. Every scar. Every mark. Every tattoo. I trailed my hands across his toned skin in wonder. I smiled. I loved this man. I was certain, I didn't care what he had done or what we were. All I knew was that as he stood before me that I had never loved anyone more and probably never would again. I had never wanted anything more and now things were finally going my way.

_Could I actually get a happily ever after?_

Tommy gently pushed me down onto the bed. I lay naked before him and for a second all I see in his eyes is lust as he stood before me. Want. Need. This time, when he lowered himself onto me, he didn't hold back. He put everything into our kiss, and I find my hands once again entangled in his hair and this time I'm not letting go. Tommy left a trail of hot lustful kisses along my jaw line, not missing a beat. He moved on further down my neck and across my breasts moving down my torso. My back arched from the pleasure and every kiss sends shivers up my spine. And then he moved hovering just above my core and stops. A sense of panic began to sweep through me along with several questions: Is he regretting this? Doesn't he want this? My silent ranting was hushed, as a wave of pleasure so great envelopes me as he dove into my core with his sweet kisses.

"Tommy -" I let out a moan which only egged him on. This time when he stops, I know that he doesn't regret anything. This time, he kneels between my thighs and just as he is about to plunge himself inside me he gives me a sweet smile. A smile that I haven't seen for so long. And then he slowly lowered himself inside me and with him there, I felt complete.

I gasp as he began to thrust inside of me. Faster. Harder. Faster. Harder. I moaned over and over again as he pounded into me. Tommy held on to me for dear life. Fucking me until I felt like I couldn't breathe, and at that point - I never wanted it to end. He would moan softly against my ear- but the sound of my own, would drown his out.

I was about to reach my climax - and he his.

Still hard inside me, he pounded a few more times - and then it came. I dug my fingers into his back and screamed out his name, as he exploded inside of me. With that, we collapsed and Tommy rolled from on top of me and we were lying side my side - just staring into each others eyes. I rested my head on his chest while he grazed his hands up and down my sides.

"I love you so much," he whispered, hoarsely.

"I love you too."

He pulled me closer against his chest and then we both drifted off.

* * *

_One night, I overheard her having a conversation with someone._

_"I know you said never to call, but I need money."_  
Silence.  
"Fuck you. I am not crawling back, I.."  
Silence.  
"It's not for me, it's for Tommy."  
Silence.  
"He's sleeping."  
Silence.  
"I'm not telling you that. You know I can't."  
Silence.  
"I'm sorry, don't hang up - wait - Fuck!, " She slammed the phone down.

_For weeks, they never called us. My mom called them back, but they said our request for assistance wasn't received We had to submit a new one. My mom was pissed, but she tried not to show it in front of me. The whole time we were waiting she was getting worse - coughing up blood and whatever else._

_She didn't have anyone that she could ask for help. After marrying Paddy, she cut all ties with her family. They didn't think he was right for her. Turns out, they were right._

_I was angry that she wouldn't let me help her, but more mad at myself for listening to her. I was young and didn't think. I've regretted it every day since she passed._

_She died a few months before I graduated - March 1998. I grew up a lot after that. It's what made me decide to join the marines. I wanted to do something with my life and I wasn't good at anything else._

_I really didn't want to leave Dani, but I couldn't stay there anymore...not after what happened. Staying there would mean that I would have to continue working at Wendy's, which I hated, but it helped with the bills._

_I needed a change and wanted to feel apart of something. Like I belonged. The Corps gave me my family._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: I hope there aren't too many mistakes.  
> I wasn't really sure how to go about Carol's sickness, so I just chose heart failure. I also don't know anything about how health care works, so please excuse me. It's also mentioned that Carol has brain damage...I wonder why? I also thought it would be better if their mom died young, so it shows how hard it was on Tommy. It makes it sadder that both Tommy and Brendan didn't have her in their life for that long.
> 
> SEX INCLUDED. It wasn't there before. :)
> 
> PLEASE REVIEW.


	11. Dreaming

**{Tommy}**

For the first time in a while, I felt like I wasn't alone. After going AWOL , I didn't have anyone. Not Manny - or anyone else. Danielle was always there for me when we were younger, but that was just as a friend. Having her here with me now, was something entirely different. It was something more. I'm different than I was back then. I want different things. I look at Brendan and his family, and I think fuck... I think I want that. It sounds crazy, but I want her by my side.

Knowing me, I'll find some way to mess it up. A low mumble interrupted my train of thought.

"Hey, Tommy," She looked up at me and smiled.

"Morning."

She turned her head in the direction of the side table. "It's 3 AM, " She groaned as she moved closer to me. It was silent as we tried to fall back asleep.

 _Bzzzzzzzzzzzz._ We opened our eyes.

"Is that you?"

"Yeah." She shoved the covers off of her legs and made her way to the floor. She dug through the pocket of her jeans. She took out her phone and looked at the name.

"Who the hell's calling you at three in the morning?"

"Um, I don't know." She swiped her phone. "Hello?"

It was silent.

She paused and shrugged. "Maybe it was the wrong number. " She added, while placing it on the side table.

* * *

 

**10 AM**

**{Danielle}**

I had made breakfast: scrambled eggs, pancakes, bacon and fruit salad. Like I always did when I was anxious... I was thinking. My phone was on the table and I was spinning it around. I tried not to think of the worst.

I had finished eating a while ago, but was waiting for Tommy to come back from his run. They usually lasted a long time.

Tommy was still surprisingly buff for someone who had just gotten out of prison. He had probably been working a lot while he was there. I mean, what else would someone spend their time doing in prison. I had seen plenty on cop and prison shows on A&E and stuff like that...but I couldn't imagine what it was actually like...

It was probably an outlet for him...lifting weights and running and stuff like that. I wondered if he was going to ever start fighting again.

When went out for breakfast with Brendan, he refused to work out at his gym. It was understandable I guess. I don't think he was ready to bring up anything that had to do with Sparta.

Plus, he didn't go out that much and I doubt he would turn up in a gym so soon after the tournament. He didn't want to deal with having people recognize him. I'm sure there were people who thought he was a hero and others who probably thought he was scum. I felt bad for him.

Before I even had time to notice, Tommy had already stormed in the front door and to his bedroom. I heard his drawer slam open as he took something out. I didn't know what to do, so I waited. A few seconds later, he came out and greeted me.

"Hey."

"Rough morning?"

"Yeah," He said. He was moving quickly and stopped to give me a kiss on the cheek, before he headed for the bathroom.

"My sister invited us out for dinner," I called out randomly. That was a kind of a lie - I mean technically she invited me, but I thought it would be good to get Tommy out of the apartment.

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah, she wants to see you again." Another lie. I had no idea if Anna even wanted to meet Tommy yet.

My sister and Tommy already knew each other, but she carefully let me know that it didn't count and that she needed to "size him up" for real, because this time was different. Whatever that meant. I figured now was a good opportunity. I just hoped Tommy would be OK with it.

Plus, I had to let _her_ know.

Tommy was never into making friends and didn't like change very much. That's probably why he spent so much time with me when we were younger. He had plenty of friends, guys that he hung out with and got drunk with, but I was his only true friend.

It took too much effort opening up to new people.

I knew everything about him and never judged him once. He knew everything about me.

* * *

 

_**Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania** _

_I think It was December of '92 - almost Christmas time, so it was pretty cold. The sun was about to set. I was about to turn 11 in a few months and Tommy was 12, going on 13. My mom and Tommy's mom, Carol, were cooking in the kitchen. Nothing special. Just baked chicken and mashed potatoes. Anna was 16, and only in the kitchen so she could seem more helpful in front of guests. I couldn't care less._

_We were lying on the living room floor._

_"You really suck at this." I was trying to figure out a stupid Rubik's cube and Tommy wasn't shy about telling me how bad I was. "Give it to me."_

_"No!" I protested. "How am I gonna figure this out if you don't let me try, you loser."_

_"Fine! Hurry up and try to figure it out before we eat." Then, the screen door slammed._

_"Well, look who it is...Tommy and his little girlfriend." Brendan was heading towards us. He smelt like some horrible guy cologne. "You know his last one was a three year old."_

_"Fuck off, Brendan." Tommy said, making sure that he wasn't too loud. I hadn't thought of anything mean to say yet._

_"I think their cute." Brendan had his arm around a younger Tess and she was resting her head on his shoulder, giggling. I remember her more clearly now. She had those same blonde waves, but she was younger...more innocent._

_"Whatever." He paused._ _"Where's mom?"_

_"In the kitchen." Tommy replied. "Why?"_

_"No reason." He said turning and heading toward the door._

_"He wants to make sure he has privacy when his girlfriend is giving him a blow job."_

_"Danielle." My mom said sternly from the kitchen, a sign of warning. She knew I had a potty mouth, but was trying to seem more parental in front of visitors._

_They both turned their heads, and Tommy gave me a high five._

_"On my gosh!" Tess laughed and went towards Tommy. "What is your brother teaching her, Brendan?"_ _._

_"Hey, where do you think I learned it from?" Tommy replied, smugly._

* * *

_We had just finished playing crazy eights in the kitchen. It was late, around nine o clock and my stomach was still full of food. I remember this because I threw up most of it up about 10 minutes later._

_Tommy, Anna and I were all squished onto our tiny couch, watching some stupid cartoon. My mom and Mrs. Riordan were finished cleaning, so she went home to sleep. She said Tommy could stay only until Paddy came home._

_"My mom hides the sodas in the basement. She'll only let us have some if you ask. " I told Tommy. He rolled his eyes, but went anyway._

_"Of course Tommy. They're in the fridge downstairs." He left._

_My mom was talking to my aunt on the phone, then finally hung up. I didn't hear the phone ring the second time._

_"Hello?"_

_I remember a shatter and my sister threw me off of her and ran to the kitchen. I hit the floor, but didn't react as quickly._

_I got up slowly. I didn't know what was happening. I heard screams. "Dani!" I heard my sister yell._

_It all seems like a scary childhood dream now... One that you play over and over in your head and can't change. You can remember everyone else's pain and emotions, but not your own. Then, everything goes silent. I was still confused. Like a zombie, I headed toward the kitchen to see what was happening._

_I don't think I really understood what was going on in that moment. My mom was bawling her eyes out and was cradling my sister in her arms. They were on the floor. I stood watching. It felt like a scene from a movie. My mom motioned for me to come closer... my mom was saying something that was drowned out by Anna's sobbing._

_"Come here, baby." She said. I didn't._

_It was my dad. I knew it was my dad._

_Could this really be happening to me? I know we didn't live in this best neighbourhood. I hated it so much._

_He was on his way home and stopped at a convenience store. I think it was to buy me a ring pop. I loved them and I told him to never come home without one.  
 _That explains why he was so late. I was with Tommy, that's probably why I didn't notice.__

_He was there during a robbery...I heard about it the next day. I think he tried to help calm the situation before it escalated...he always tried to help people._

_I ran upstairs as fast as my legs could go and was planning to go to my room. I stopped right outside my door, before I threw everything up. I slowly got up and went to my bed to lie down. I think I was dizzy and I could have been crying. I don't remember._

_I don't when exactly Tommy came upstairs or if he knew, but he was at my door...staring at me. I remember feeling embarrassed. I had just puked on the floor and I hoped he wouldn't laugh at me._

_I never usually cried in front of Tommy. He always saw me as a tough little kid and that's who I wanted to be. I didn't look up at him, for fear of what he would say. I don't think I would have heard him anyway. The sounds were too loud._

_He moved to sit on my bed and I turned my head away. He laid his head where mine was and I think he knew I was embarrassed._

_He wasn't about to bullshit me and tell me everything was gonna be OK. He wasn't going to say he was sorry, like people do in the movies when someone they love dies. He skipped all sappy stuff and got straight to the point._

_"You know can cry in front of me Danielle." They way he said my name sounded nice and calming._

_I had almost forgotten what a sweetheart he could be._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: Next time I will try to be better at writing le


	12. Some Things Can't Be Forgotten

**_December 1996_ **

_"Mom?"_

_She was sitting on the floor with a pile of Brendan and Tommy's childhood photos._

_"It's Brendan's birthday today - 18."_

_"Yeah." Tommy didn't like talking about Brendan because he hated to see his mom upset. Usually he tried to avoid it at all costs, but today he didn't. He knew she felt guilty…guilty for leaving him behind._

_When they left that night, Paddy didn't bat an eye. He foolishly thought that they would come back. He thought Carol would come crawling back to him after running out of money, but that wasn't the case. It had been over two years and there was no way in hell Tommy would let his mom go back there._

_"I sometimes wonder if I made the right decision - coming here."_

_"Don't talk like that, mom. You know we had no choice." He said, while kneeling beside her._

_"I shouldn't have left without him -"_

_"Don't blame yourself. It's his fault. He chose to stay."_

_"Tommy, don't say that. I'm his mother. I shouldn't have left him with Paddy. I should have done more. Children need their mothers."_

_Tommy didn't say anything this time._

_"I should call - just to find out how he is -"_

_"No. You know we can't do that. Grandma said its better if he doesn't know where we are."_

_"I know."_

_"We're going to be just fine." She looked up at him and smiled_

_"Look at you." She laughed. "Now you're the one reassuring me."_

_"Yeah, well someone has to." He laughed._

_"Come here." She pulled him into her arms. "My sweet boy. You always take care of me."_

* * *

 

**{Brendan}**

**PRESENT - March**

"So, what's new?"

"Nothing, really. Tommy's good. He's settling well into his place."

Paddy nodded.

"He's also about to renew his license this week."

"About time -" Paddy looked at Brendan. "What about you, son? Anything going on with you?"

I wasn't really in the mood to talk about me. I tried to change the subject.

"Nothing that comes to mind -" I shrugged, then looked up. "You know that Tommy and Danielle, they got together. " I smiled. "That's news."

"Wow, it sure is." He agreed, loudly.

"I think it's going well. They look good together." I added.

At least from what I could tell. The last time we were together was last weekend. They seemed happy enough. The girls loved Tommy and Danielle as well.

I could tell Paddy was happy about this. After all, Tommy in a relationship meant a second chance. A second chance at all the things he missed with me. His son's wedding, grand-kids - finally getting to see them grow up.

"Well good for him." He smiled.

I was only doing this for Tommy. He tried to act like it didn't matter to him if he saw Paddy at all, but I knew he wanted to see him. After all, Paddy was sober now and Tommy felt guilty for the way he treated him during Sparta. I knew he wanted us to be a family again, but I also knew there were some things about our past that he couldn't forget - just like I couldn't.

* * *

**{Danielle}**

Tommy was already at my place waiting for me to get ready. It was 7 PM on a Saturday and Tommy was finally about to meet Anna. He was way too early and insisted that he would wait for however long I needed. It didn't take him long to get ready and was here by 6:50 even though he was supposed to arrive at 7:30. He was dressed in a fitted white dress shirt with black pants - pretty casual. I left him sitting in the kitchen. Fifteen minutes later, I was ready and headed downstairs. He slowly lifted his head from where he was sitting. I was wearing a short, blue, one-shoulder dress with black heels.

"How do I look?"

"You really gonna ask me that?" I laughed.

"You look amazing." He told me.

It was cold. Really cold. I probably should have brought my cardigan with me. Tommy was driving this time and I sat in the passenger seat.  
We were headed to an Asian restaurant on Chestnut street.

Tommy held the door to _Buddakan_ open for me, before we stepped inside. I could spot Anna and James from where we stood. She had a long floral maxi on, complimenting her long, brown hair.

"Name, please?" The man at the front podium, asked.

"Anna Summers," I replied.

They stood up as we approached the table.

"Hey, girlie. You look nice." Anna as we both leaned in for a hug.

"Hey, you too." I smiled, then pulled away. There was an awkward pause.

"Hello, Tommy." She smiled. I could tell she was eyeing his every detail…from his shirt to his shoes.

"Anna." He nodded, fully aware of what she was doing. I smiled.

"Hey, how's it going", James said while pulling me into an embrace.

"Great. I haven't seen you in a while though. How are you?"

"I'm great. Anna and I are excited to finally meet the guy you won't shut up about."

I smiled nervously at Tommy. "James, this is Tommy."

"Nice to meet you, Tommy." He said, while firmly, shaking his hand.

Tommy pulled out my chair for me and we took our seats.

"So, Tommy. It's great to see you again." Anna said.

He ran a hand through his mousy brown hair. "It's great to see you too."

**_{Anna}_ **

**_March 1998_ **

_I was about twenty-one and down in Tacoma to visit my mom and sister for the month. Danielle was about sixteen years old and Tommy was eighteen._

It didn't matter what he did, I just didn't like him. Not around my sister anyway.

_"Tommy, have you seen my sister?"_

_He didn't reply.  
_  
 _"Hello?"  
_  
 _He was sitting on my (and emphasis on my), front porch, smoking a blunt. "Piss off," He replied.  
_  
 _"Uh - You're in front of my house, Tommy. Remember that," I warned. He just smirked.  
_  
 _I brushed past him, down the stairs, and down the street._ _We weren't always like this, but things did take a turn for the worst after the whole "leaving Brendan behind thing". He was only truly nice to two people and I wasn't one of them.  
_  
 _"I have no idea why she even hangs out with you." I mumbled under my breath. He heard me._

 _"What was that?" He called to me.  
_  
 _I turned around. "I said, I have no idea why Danielle would hang out with a loser like you."_ _He was about to reply, when I interrupted him.  
_  
 _"It's late, Tommy. Why don't you go home, Tommy. Be with your mom. Isn't she sick?"  
_  
 _He didn't say anything._ _Just then, Dani came approaching from down the street._ _"Um, hey..." She looked at the both of us._

_"Hey, where were you?" I asked her._

_"Why does it matter?"_

_"Never mind then." I paused. "Dani, it's late." I advised her._

_"Whatever. Let's go inside, Tommy."  
_   
_"Don't you think Tommy should be heading home now."  
_   
_"Really, Anna? He's been staying at our place for forever, mom won't mind. Anyway, you don't really live here so it's not up to you."  
_   
_"You really know how to choose your friends, Dani ." I said loud enough that he could hear._

_I was expecting Tommy to make some snarky comment, but he didn't. He just put out his blunt and quietly stepped inside.  
_   
_I didn't know back then that his mom had already passed._

* * *

 

**PRESENT**

**{Danielle}  
**

"Hi, my name is Lizzie and I'll be your waitress for this evening." She was an attractive, young, blond and looked to be in her early twenties. "Can I start you guys off with something to drink, Wine maybe?" Her eyes scanned everyone's at the table, but rested on Tommy's. I knew he was good-looking, but it still bothered me that she was staring him down.

"We'll have a bottle of Pinot Noir." Anna chimed in. Lizzie nodded and wrote it down.

"Just a ginger ale for me." I wasn't too big on alcohol anymore, not since I was younger. Plus, I wanted to be alert and alcohol made me drowsy.

"And what can I get for you sir?" The waitress glanced at Tommy and smiled. I rolled my eyes. Did this chick want to get punched?

"I'll have the same." She wrote it down, turned around and was on her way.

"I'll take a beer." James said. "Tommy, you sure don't want one too, Tommy. Or a glass of whiskey or something. I don't wanna be the only guy drinking here."

Tommy thought about it for second. "Uh, miss!" He called out, while turning his head in her direction. "You know what, scratch that I'll take a glass of whiskey."

"Oh, OK. Can't go wrong with a good glass of whiskey." She agreed. "And you can call me Lizzie, "She grinned before walking away.

"Thank you, _Lizzie_." He said smugly, before teasingly squeezing my thigh. I rolled my eyes.


	13. You Can Take The Girl Out of the Country...

There was an awkward silence as we ate our food. I don't know what I'd prefer, awkward silence or awkward conversation. I took another bite. At least no one was talking about the weather - or sports.

"So, Tommy -" James began. "You planning on watching the game Sunday?" I smiled to myself. I spoke too soon _._ Before he could answer, Anna put her fork down and I knew something horrible was about to happen. She raised her arm.

"Sorry to interrupt sweetheart -" She turned to him. "But Tommy can I ask you a question?"

"Yeah, sure."

"So, Tommy. What exactly are your intentions with my sister?" _Oh, fuck_ _me!_ _Once Anna got started, I knew she wouldn't stop._

"Oh, here we go" James rolled his eyes, but didn't try to stop her - not like he could. I sighed and kept silent.

"Ahh -" Tommy nodded. _You know what_ , I thought. I'm going to say something. He doesn't have to explain anything to her - after what - barely a month of dating.

"He's not answering that." I looked at Tommy. "Tommy, you don't have to answer that." I then turned to Anna. "What the hell is your problem?"

"Nothing, I was just asking a question, Danielle." She glanced around. "I don't see any of you putting effort into any conversation."

"Yeah, well you picked a very specific question to ask. Who do you think you are?"

"Well I want to know. You haven't seen this guy in what - ten years and you think you guys can just get back to where you left off. You guys are completely different people than you were before."

"How the hell would you know?"

"It's OK Dani, don't worry about it," Tommy interrupted. " I'll answer the damn question if it will make your sister happy."

Anna raised her eyebrow, "Go ahead," she challenged. I held my breath.

"I love your sister more than anything in the world. I always have and I always will." I stopped fuming and blushed, while Anna rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, says the guy who just got out of jail - because love pays bills right. Oh right, you have Brendan for that. Do you even know how to support yourself in the real world or are you just planning to see how long you can stretch out the rest of your service money?"

Tommy kept quiet, but his jaw was clenched as he looked off to the side - his leg, bouncing furiously. Anna was enjoying this. "Or we can talk about the man you've become. You know, I saw you on TV -"

"Stop it", I said as I grabbed onto Anna's shoulder, but she brushed me off. I was being ignored by both parties - caught in the middle of two firecrackers about to explode.

She continued. "Any of Paddy's behaviour rub off on you, huh Tommy?"

Immediately, he pushed his chair away from the table, and it made a loud screeching noise as he did, which caused everyone around, to take notice.

"You know what? Fuck this, and fuck you. I don't have to take this shit." Tommy got up from his chair.

"Tommy, wait." I said to him, but he was already walking off. I held my head down and tried to breathe. Count to ten - that always works. _Why here?_ Why now? I thought.

"I see your vocabulary hasn't changed much Tommy." She called after him, obviously satisfied with her work.

"Great job, honey -" James sighed. She just shrugged and took a sip of her wine.

I don't know what she expected. Did she think I would just sit there and finish dinner with her? I clenched my fists and slowly lifted my head. "I can't believe you just said that."

"So, what's your point?"

I shot up out of my seat and slammed my hands on the table. "Get up. You get the fuck up right now!" People continued to look and gasp, but I didn't care.

She seemed shocked, but stood anyway. "Stop being so damn dramatic, Dani."

I pushed her in front of me. "Washroom! Go!"

* * *

After finding the washroom, I had calmed down a bit. "I can't believe you asked him that. You should have told me that you felt this way about him - way before we even got here."

"Well?" She began.

"I'm not kidding. You know how I feel about him and you know how he is. You know!"

She crossed her arms. "Yeah, well I didn't think you'd start dating him. He just got out of prison. He has no job. His fucking brother supports him. I bet he's a fucking alcoholic now after all the shit that's happened to him. What about Jay huh? What happened to him? He was nice - and reliable, unlike Tommy."

"You shut your mouth." I warned her. Every word that came out of her mouth made my blood boil. I felt like I was fifteen again and someone had just called Tommy a name.

"Then, he had an excuse." She scoffed. "But, he's even more of a loser than he was before."

I couldn't take it anymore. Before I knew it, my hand was raised and I had smacked my sister across the face.

She raised her hand to touch her red cheek. "What the FUCK is your problem? Do you know who I am? I'm your sister - your fucking sister. Not some chick off the street. I'm only trying to help you."

She wiped her lip that had a trace of blood. _Did I really hit her that hard?_ She sighed. "I guess you haven't changed as much as I thought."

Since I turned eighteen, she was always making me feel bad if I let certain things bother me. _You're an adult now Danielle. You can't go around beating people up when they make you upset._ I guess I haven't changed. No wait - but I had changed, stupid things like this didn't get me upset anymore. I was a fucking career woman with a great job and a nice home, not some fifteen year old girl. I bit my lip.

"What do you think this is the 'Burghs? What -you wanna scrap now, honey?" She laughed.

"OK, you know what? Stop acting like you're better than me, because you're not. Hell, you're even worse. I don't know why James puts up with you. How can he stay married to such a..." I searched for a word. "A cunt!" I yelled.

I turned to walk away, but Anna wasn't finished.

"What the hell did you just call me?"

* * *

 

**_1994  
_ **

" _What the hell did you just call me?"_

" _C.U.N.T. Cunt." I told Anna sternly, to show I wasn't afraid of her._

"You're 12. _I bet you don't even know what that is. Did Tommy teach you that?"_

"No, he didn't _," I replied defiantly.  
_

"Fine, I don't care. _Just - give it back you dumb bitch."_

" _Mom gave it to me."_

" _No she did not! She said I could wear it and it doesn't even fit you." She ran up to me and tried to grab the sweater from my hands. It was dad's University of Pittsburgh sweatshirt that mom had found while digging through some old boxes. I wasn't budging and held onto it for dear life. She held it just as tight._

_I pulled her hair and started punching her in head. She was bigger than me, so with one toss, she had me on the floor..._

* * *

 

**PRESENT**

Wrestling. We were fucking wrestling. We were slapping and punching and tugging each other's hair on the floor of a restaurant bathroom. I don't know what made me more upset. What she said about Tommy or the fact that she kept treating me like I was inferior to her.

Then, we heard the door open. We got up as quickly as possible and brushed ourselves off. An old lady walked in, we smiled at her as if nothing had happened, our hearts still beating like hell. She smiled, checked her reflection and left.

Within seconds we started to burst out laughing.

"Oh, my god! You're such an idiot."

"Me? You started it. I can't believe you pushed me into the wall? I thought you were above that kinda stuff?"

"Oh, shut up Dani." She rubbed her boob. " You punched my fuckin tit, you bitch."

"I know," I laughed. "Well you know what they say? You can take the girl outta the country..."

"Yeah yeah yeah." She rolled her eyes.

I went to bathroom mirror to fix my hair. "Wow, we look like shit. I wonder what that lady thought when she walked in?"

Anna didn't reply. I frowned, remembering why we fought in the first place. "Look, Danielle.I'm sorry about what I said and how I said it. It shouldn't have happened. I was wrong OK, but I don't take it back. He's no good for you, despite what you think and I won't - CAN'T -" She corrected. "accept you two together."

"Accept us? I don't give a crap if you _accept_ us or not, but what you said out there - It was a horrible thing to say," I told her as we walked back out toward the table. "Gosh, it's like you have no filter sometimes! Do you know that the things you say can have an effect on people? Especially someone like him."

"I'm sorry OK, but I really think you can do better than _someone like him_."

"You don't even know him," I retorted.

"I know enough."

"You know nothing -" I paused. "And, how do you know I can do better. Maybe I'm just like him."

"Stop it. There you go again, being all dramatic. Listen, no one marries the bad boy. Take it from me, I know. I mean it was cute when he was younger, but now it's pathetic."

I raised my arms in defeat. "You just don't get it, do you? You were WAY out of line."

"No, I do get it. He's had a tough life, and he needs someone to help him get his shit together, but that person isn't you." She tried to grab onto my arm, but I pulled away. "I want you to have a good life, an easy life. You have no business carrying around other people's baggage."

I smiled. "You know what Anna, I respect your opinion, but frankly, I don't give a shit about what you think."

She sighed. "I know you don't."

"Excuse me while I go find my boyfriend." I headed to the door.

"How about you try actually listening to me. He's gonna hurt you Danielle. I know it - and that's something I just won't stand for."

I stopped. "Tell James I said goodnight."

"Remember, he needs you, not the other way around." She called out. I let the door close behind me.

"You're wrong," I said under my breath. "I do need him."


	14. Oblivious

_**{Danielle}** _

_**January 1998** _

__I shivered._ "Maybe you should wait to tell her, Tommy." We were standing outside his place. It was 6:45 on a Friday night, but it was still incredibly dark.  
I had my hands in my pockets and rocked back and forth on me heels._

_He stepped on his cigarette, before answering. "Nah...now's good."_

_"She's gonna kill you, Tommy."_

_"I know," He smirked. "Come on. You go in first." He opened the door. "After you."_

_I backed away from the door a little. "Wait." I stopped. "Why am I even here in the first place? I'm not the one with who got..."_

_"Exactly, so you have nothing to worry about. Just get inside." I wiped my boots on the mat as he playfully pushed me inside. Carol was in front of the sink washing and chopping vegetables. "Hey," she said. "Hurry, close the door. _What were my kids up to?_ " She smiled. We took off our boots and jackets, though it was still freezing inside._

_"Hey, mom!" He excitedly came up behind her and wrapped his arm around her._

_"Oh, boy. What is it Tommy? I'm in the middle of cooking dinner."_

_"Check this out." He rolled up his sleeve and held out his right bicep to show her._

_"Oh Christ, what have you done?" She stopped chopping tomatoes and raised one arm to touch the tattoo Tommy held in front of her. She looked at me with a look that said "How could you let him do this? "._

_"Sorry," I said quietly, but I couldn't conceal the huge smile on my face. Tommy and I always talked about getting tattoos and though I was a little jealous he got one before I could, it was still the coolest thing._

_She dried her hands and took hold of his arm to examine it again, "Oh my beautiful boy… my beautiful boy." She rubbed his cheek gently._

_"I told him not to do it." I didn't lie, exactly. I told him it was cheesy, but that was only because I wanted him to get one with me._

_She sighed. "Dani...what am I gonna do with him?"_

_She turned to him. He was grinning from ear to ear. "You better wipe that smile off your face." She took hold of his bicep and sighed. "Now here, both of you wash up and help me peel these potatoes. That's your punishment. I'm gonna take a seat. I'm tired." She stirred the pot, before walking into the living room._

_Tommy laughed. "Whatever you say."_

_She looked at him again. "A damn leprechaun for Christ's sake, Tommy? Even I could have thought of a better tattoo than that."_

_We both washed our hands and started on the potatoes. Tommy threw a potato peel down my shirt. "Hey!" I picked up one to throw back. She stood off to the side and watched us._

_Carol looked at the tattoo one last time and sighed again, before finally sitting down._

_"My beautiful boy..." She said._

* * *

**PRESENT**

I made my way through the crowded restaurant, dodging people, tables, chairs. I bumped into quite a few people, but I didn't have time to apologize. I wasn't in the mood.

I pushed through the revolving door and scanned the night, searching for Tommy. **No luck.**

I turned to my right and headed for the parking lot, hoping he would be waiting by the car. I still couldn't find him. I was starting to freak out, but headed back to the entrance.

This time, I went left. I found him off to the side, sitting on the pavement. Thank God!

"Hey... there you are." I stepped in front of the curb and sat down beside him. "Sorry I didn't go after you I had to have a little talk with my sister first." He didn't say anything. "Listen, she's a bitch. You know I don't think the way she does, right...you know I don't think that about you?"

Silence. OK...not a big deal. That was pretty normal for him. "I guess she just needs a little time to get used to us." No answer."Please, say something. I'm going crazy here, Tommy." He stood up.

"I don't feel like talking. Can we go?"

I was taken aback. "Yeah...okay, sure. Let's go." I got up and we headed towards the car.

"Um, excuse me?" A short girl with dyed black hair and piercings came up to us with who I assumed was her boyfriend, by her side. He was a little shorter than Tommy, muscular and had on a leather jacket. "Are you Tommy Riordan, the MMA fighter?" He asked.

"No." Tommy replied firmly, as he kept walking. I struggled to keep up. The guy kept following with his girlfriend in tow.

"Yeah...dude, you are! You're that ex-Marine from Sparta? You faced your brother in the finals!" "Oh, my god," His girlfriend squealed.

"Wasn't me," was all Tommy said.

"Come on, man. I know it's you." They followed us. "You, Is that your girl?" He didn't reply.

"Get in the car," He told me as we reached the car. He was quiet, but stern. I didn't question him and got inside.

"It's cool, man. Can we just get a picture?"

"No," He said again, as he headed to his side of the car.

"Piece of shit", the guy muttered under his breath, but Tommy heard him. "What'd you call me?" Within seconds, Tommy was walking around the car towards the guy. He got into his face and grabbed him by the shirt. He was breathing heavily. His girlfriend screamed.

"Hey, man. I'm sorry. We don't want no trouble."

"Tommy?!" I called out from inside the car. He looked at me, while still holding onto the guy. He turned to face the guy again. "Fuck off, then." He pushed him back and released his shirt.

The girl grabbed onto her boyfriend and they took off. They took their phones out as soon as they were at a safe distance and were snapping a couple pictures.

"Fuckers", Tommy grumbled as he got inside and slammed the door shut.

After they left, I didn't say anything. Tommy just sat there and stared furiously through the windshield. Finally, he started the engine.

"Tommy...about..." I stopped myself. "Are we going back to my place, or... your place or...?"

"No, I'll take you home," He replied, still visibly upset. He didn't look at me once.

"Oh...OK" I said.

There was tension in the car. I didn't know what to say. Should I even say anything?

What Anna said in there got me thinking. There was a lot of things I still wanted know, not that I would dare ask anyway...

He just sat there, looking straight ahead, his hands tightly placed on the wheel.

"When was the last time you talked to Brendan yet?" _Shit. That was one of the worst questions I could possibly ask._

"Why would I need to talk to Brendan for?"

"I didn't mean it like that. I just meant that I haven't heard from him in a while..."

"Well, he's not your brother, is he?"

"No, but..."

"Then mind your own business." He turned down my street and drove rapidly into my driveway.

I racked my brain, thinking of something to say to end off the night...something to make him feel better...maybe even get him to stay the night. It was too late for that. He was pissed.

When I didn't leave, he peered at me from the side.

"Well, goodnight then, " I finally said.

He said nothing as I got out. I shut the door and kept walking up the path. I could hear Tommy reversing the car. I turned to look back, but he was already gone.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Upcoming - Tommy/Brendan & Danielle/Tess


	15. How Could I

**{Danielle}**

One Week Later

When I drove my car up the house I saw that Tommy had just arrived. _Great._

He was getting out of his car.

It was the middle of March and still pretty chilly out but as usual Tommy just had on a Grey hoodie and jeans. He was heading up the path before he heard my car and turned around.

He looked tired. Our eyes met for a second, before he turned back around and rang the doorbell.

I hope he wasn't wondering what I was doing there. Tess and Brendan invited me over to watch the game too.

I didn't just show up here, Tommy. _Gosh...he is such a prick_ , I thought.

I stopped the car, hoping he would be inside by the time I got out. No such luck. Tess and Brendan were taking their sweet time answering the door. I grabbed my purse from the passenger side and stepped out. I slowly walked up the path and when I approached he started knocking on the door.

"Hey, Brendan. Open up!" He shifted uncomfortably when I walked up, didn't look at me once.

I avoided his gaze and reached for the door, grinning. We had played this game before. If he wants to act like a child, then so can I.

He bit down on his lip and turned away before finally sighing. Then he did something that caught me off guard. He said my name. "Danielle." He didn't even look at me, might I add.

I said his name. "Tommy."

I didn't say anything after that. I turned my head away like a spoiled five-year old. Saying my name is NOT an apology, Tommy.

Nevertheless I had expected Tommy to wait for Brendan to open the door and walk straight past me inside, ignoring me. That's something old Tommy would have done. Hell, that's something I would have done.

So I guess saying my name was an improvement. Maybe he had changed a little more than I realized.

Either way, I still wouldn't be the one apologizing first. I had no reason to.

The door opened, and I let out a breath. Finally. Brendan came outside to greet us.

"Hey guys. Sorry about that."

Surprisingly, he pulled me into a hug first. "It's nice to see you again."

"You too, Brendan," I smiled, into his shoulder.

He let me go and I stepped inside. I just stood in the hall, unsure of what to do.

I heard murmurs of Brendan and Tommy speaking to each other behind me.

Paddy...Car...Frank...Money... **Danielle**...

I tensed up,...they were talking about me. Why the fuck were they talking about me? What did I do? Then, silence.

They must have decided to cut the conversation short because of how close I was in proximity to them. They both stepped inside, while Tommy walked past me into the living room

Brendan rubbed me on my shoulder as he headed there too. "Hey, you can have a seat." He called out behind him.

Tommy made and Brendan made their way to the couch. I stood where I was.

"Uh, I think I'll go find Tess."

Brendan looked at Tommy, then me, and nodded. "Yeah, sure. She's upstairs with the girls."

* * *

**{Danielle}  
**

She was on the floor with the girls when she looked up and saw me.

"Hey, you!" She got up from the floor to give me a hug.

"Hey. Hi Emily. Hi Rosie." I called out.

"Hi, Danielle," they said, barely glancing up. They had all their dolls and toys spread out on the carpet.

"Hey, girls. Can you give me a minute. I'm just going to talk to Danielle for a bit." She pointed to the door. "Here, let's go to my room. "

* * *

**{Tommy}  
**

"We should hang out more. It seems I can never get a hold of you."

"Hm." _I'm here now, aren't I?_

"Danielle keeping you busy?" Brendan joked, trying to get me to loosen up. I grimaced.

_I haven't spoken to Dani since that night we went out for dinner and her sister was talking shit about me. I knew it was stupid - o be mad at her for that, but I just couldn't deal with her - not now. I was a mess._

_...but I just couldn't shake the feeling. What if she was right...?_

I looked at my brother, but didn't say anything.

"Tommy there's something that's been bothering me that I really need to get off my chest."

The TV was on, but neither of us were paying attention to it. I had somewhat of an idea if what he was about to say."What is it?"

"I'm not trying to dog on you, I just want you to know how I felt," Brendan said.

 _Here we go_ , I thought.

"After you left Iraq...when you went to see dad instead of even trying to find me...you know that really hurt me Tommy."

"I just needed someone to train with - nothing else."

"That the first person you went to was the man who used to beat our mother...that's how you remember him as - The man who used to beat our mother."

Brendan obviously didn't care about what I had to say.

"That you didn't even bother trying to find me - me, your own brother. Was what I did really worse than what he did?"

No reply.

"Tell me something - if I hadn't joined Sparta - or let's say you won, instead of me. Would you have come to see me afterwards? Would you had even tried?"

"Do you really want to talk about this now? I thought we went over this already."

"We started, but you walked away. Like you always do."

* * *

**{Danielle}**

"Come sit." Tess plopped herself down on the bed. "So, what's up?"

I walked over and sat down, but before I could begin, I stopped. Tess and I looked at each other. We could hear some of the arguing that was going on downstairs - mostly from Brendan. She sighed.

"Is there something up with Tommy? He seems kind of tense. At his coming home party you guys were all lovey dovey - going off by yourself. What happened?"

"Ahh, well, let's see. About a week ago, we went out to dinner with my sister, Anna and her husband."

"Yeah - and -what happened with that?"

"Let's just say she wasn't too happy about the whole me and Tommy thing and she wasn't shy about letting us know."

"You're kidding - what did she say to him?"

"For one, she brought up how Tommy doesn't even support himself. She even asked if he was anything like Paddy - her words, not mine. I was so embarrassed."

"Geez that's horrible."

"Yeah..." I sighed. "We all made quite a scene."

* * *

**{Tommy}**

"What if you were the one that won that night - would we even be sitting here now?"

I shrugged. I didn't know what Brendan wanted from me. Honestly - I would have eventually went and found him. Maybe we would have reconciled or maybe we would be on different terms. I honestly didn't know. I often changed my mind about things. I knew how I felt now, but I couldn't know how I would feel a month from now or five months from now. Tomorrow, I could just tell everyone to fuck off. My head wasn't exactly in good place right now, despite how I tried pretending it was.

"Tommy!?" Brendan was still waiting for his answer.

"Yes! OK...that what you wanna hear? - I'm gonna go take a piss."

* * *

**{Danielle}**

"What did he say?"

"He told her "fuck you" and then he left."

"Of course...I would do the same."

"Yeah, and don't even get me started on what she said when we were alone. I'm so glad he wasn't around to hear that."

Just then, Tommy walked upstairs. He stopped at the door and looked inside - but not directly at me though. I prayed that he hadn't heard what we were talking about because the door was wide open.

Tess and I both glanced at each other.

"Uh...Hey Tess," he said, softly.

"Hey Tommy. How's it going?" Tess smiled.

He nodded. "It's going good."

He glanced at me for a second, and I turned away. If he had heard, I was screwed. I really didn't really feel like giving him a blow-by-blow description of everything Anna said. Especially since we haven't even said more than one word to each other at all today. Anyway - some things, he didn't need to hear.

Tess looked at Tommy, then back to me, who was quiet with my head down. He stalled for a moment, then turned around. He left just as fast as he came.

I lifted my head. Tess turned to me and made a face at me.

"What?" I asked, as I got up from the bed to close the door behind him.

"You guys aren't speaking, are you?"

* * *

**{Tommy}  
**

When I came back downstairs I was more agitated than before.

"What are you doing...why are you doing this now?" I asked Brendan. "Why are you tryna start something'?"

"I'm just asking questions. You're the one getting upset."

"Well you're asking questions that don't need to be asked. Things are finally getting better. You're getting me - you're getting pops. Isn't that what you always wanted?"

"What I wanted? Listen, I don't wanna put up with him, but I do - for you Tommy. I do that for you. I care more about me and you."

"Oh, yeah. Since when? Don't act like you weren't the one begging for his attention."

"Yeah, when I was a kid. I don't need dad's love or approval anymore - only my family's. That's all I care about."

"Well good for you, then."

"You know what - let's not. Let's not get into this again."

* * *

**{Danielle}**

I turned around and leaned up against the wall."Not exactly."

"I see - Is it because of that night?"

"You know I tried to..." I began. "I told him I don't feel the same way as her, but he wouldn't even listen. I even apologized for her - for what SHE said. I shouldn't even need to feel guilty about something that didn't even come out of my mouth..." "And then he has the nerve to ignore me for a week and now try to speak to me..." "I am not - will not - Ugh!"

After my little rant, she just nodded. "You know I've always wondered about you guys' relationship was like.."

"What do you mean?"

"Let' face it. Tommy doesn't look like the easiest guy to try and get to know - but I thought you'd have it easier than the rest because you already know him. Y'know, less work - and Tommy doesn't look like the kind of guy who's up for meeting new people."

I shrugged.

"So all this tells me is that you guys are having trouble communicating."

"Yeah..." I looked away from Tess for a moment. My legs were getting tired from standing."You know sometimes, I feel like we're moving somewhere - that we're getting closer, but then something happens and he pulls away."

"I think you guys should talk to each other and stop with the crap, OK?"

"Tess, I can't be the one doing all the work. I was trying - and he knows how I feel."

"You're right, but just listen to me for a sec."

I nodded. "OK."

"You don't know everything about him. You think you do, but you don't. Yeah, I know you guys were close when we were younger but, you're forgetting all these blanks spaces. He was in the marines..." she lowered her voice, "And there's also prison. He also lost a lot of people - not just his mom. I mean, that's some pretty heavy stuff."

I didn't say anything.

"If you're in it for the long run, you shouldn't be afraid to talk about the painful things. I know he can be stubborn - but you have to force him. It sucks to keep things like that bottled up. Take it from me, I know. I went through it with Brendan. You need to be honest. Say exactly how you feel and make sure he knows that you aren't going anywhere."

"Well maybe I'm scared to be too honest. Maybe I'm not afraid he'll pull away - maybe I'm afraid that I might." I shrugged. "I don't have the best track record when it comes to dating. To be honest, I'm the one who doesn't stick around..." I smiled, jokingly. "I got trust issues."

"Oh, yeah?" She laughed, then became serious again. "OK, just talk to him - as soon as you can. You won't regret it. I promise. You both know how you feel about each other. Stop acting like kids. If you want him to talk to you. Make him."

"Thank you Dr. Phil."

"Oh, shut up..." She laughed. "I have to get started on the cooking." She gave me her arm and I pulled her up.

"Is Paddy going to be here - for dinner?" I asked.

"Yeah...what time is it now?"

I took out my phone. "2:36."

"OK, just promise me you'll talk before then."

"Yeah, sure. It's not like I can avoid it."

Tess looked at me. "Dani?"

"Yeah?" I asked.

"Go - right now."

"Alright, I'm going. " I opened the door and walked out.

* * *

**{Tommy}  
**

I couldn't contain it any longer. I needed to know. "Let me ask you something, Brendan?"

"Sure Tommy, what?"

"Did you forget?"

"Did I forget what?" Brendan asked defensively.

"Did you forget?!" I repeated, louder. _He better not make me have to say it_ , I thought.

It went quiet. "No, no I didn't forget. " He sighed. "Are you talking about mom - no, how could I?"

I leaned back into the couch. At least I knew that I wasn't alone in this.

"It's in five days, isn't it? Is that why you've been acting like this?"

I didn't answer. We were interrupted. It was Danielle.

"Tommy, I need to talk to you."

* * *

 


	16. Some Other Girl

_**March 1998** _

_I couldn't find Tommy anywhere. During lunch, I had met up with Shane and he told me the news._  
_So I got on the bus, and rode it over to his place, I ran as fast as I could to his house. He was sitting on the curb at the front, smoking a cigarette. I sighed._

_I didn't know what to say. I had comforted him before, about Brendan, but this was something entirely different. His mom was gone and she was never coming back. He was alone, he had no one. What could I say? Nothing that came out of my mouth, would make his mom come back. I didn't sit beside him, I gave him the crumpled paper I had in my hand. He just stared at it, but didn't look at it._

_"I'm so sorry about your mom, Tommy." I tried to hold back my tears. He wasn't crying and it was his mom who had just died for crying out loud. If he could be strong, I could too. I was quiet as I just stood there and waited. I took the paper from his fingers and read it out loud to him._

_"Mo ghrá." I tried to pronounce the Gaelic word I had written, the same way his mom would._

_"Remember, my love. That's us. That's what she used to call us."_

_He finally looked about at me, slight recognition in his eyes. Of course, he didn't forget. I finally sat down, but decided not to say anything. We didn't need words, there weren't any. I didn't need to comfort him, I just had to let him know that I was there and that I always would be._

* * *

  **{Danielle}**

"Tommy, I need to talk to you."

Brendan was staring at Tommy in a way that made me think I had interrupted them discussing something they were pretty heated about. I wondered if it had anything to do with me. Either way I'm sure Tommy was glad he didn't have to listen to Brendan any longer.

Slightly on edge, Brendan looked up at me. "Danielle can you give us a moment?"

"Yeah, of course - sorry." It's not like I knew exactly what I was going to say to Tommy anyway.

"No it's fine. We're done here." Tommy got up and was me leading past the living room, towards the door. We were now standing face to face by the front door.

"What is it?" All the eagerness he had to get away from Brendan, was replaced with a cold stare. Not from anger though, I could always tell with Tommy. It was hopefulness. He was waiting for me to say something important - like I always did when I told him I needed to talk.

I took a deep breath. "I wanted to let you know that - " Then, my cellphone rang. "Shit! I'm sorry. One second." I took my phone out of my pocket and answered. "Hello?" There was silence.

"Not again." I rolled my eyes and hung up. Then, I looked back at Tommy.

I thought about everything Tess had said. About how I should let him know I wasn't going anywhere. That I need to cut the bull crap and just be honest with him. We needed to be honest with each other and I would have to be the bigger person instead of ignoring the issues in our relationship. She said I need to get to know him more and I couldn't disagree with that. What exactly did I know about new Tommy? We have only been together for a month and it felt like longer, but still. Now was a good time to start. _The good and the bad_ , I told myself. I had to know it all. _The good and the bad_ , I repeated in my head.

"Look, What I mean to say, is that - " I began.

He looked at me expectantly, waiting for me to continue. He didn't say anything, but the look in his eyes. It was like he knew what was coming and that he couldn't wait to hear me say that I was here. He didn't look excited, but he had a calm, but desperate look on his face.

But I didn't say it. I was ready to - but then I froze.

"I'm so sorry, Tommy." I shook my head and his eyes flickered with confusion. "I have to go." I told him.

I quickly turned around and put my hand on the door knob, but he was holding my wrist.

"Dani, hold up for a second." I glanced behind at him for a second before proceeding to open the door. He released me, without a word.

I ran outside, the cold rain whipping against me as I did. I hadn't even noticed when it had started. I kept running until I got to my car. I didn't want him to see the tears falling from my face. I didn't want him to know that I wasn't the same girl I was as a kid. I was a coward.

* * *

 

The whole time I was driving I knew Tommy was in his car right behind me. At first, when I was walking away from him, he seemed calm, but I could tell that now he was furious. He would have a lot of questions for me. Like why I stopped him in the middle of his conversation with Brendan like I had some big announcement to make - only to chicken out at the last second.

How about why I was so scared to say it in the first place...

I got to my front door, unlocked it and left it wide open, knowing Tommy was just a few paces behind me. I walked into the living room and crossed my arms. I sighed. I didn't want to do this now. That's why I walked out in the first place, I was scared - but he just HAD to follow me.

"So now you're the one leaving." He stated.

I sighed turned around to face him. His jaw was clenched.

I shook my head. "I'm not -"

"Oh, yeah what do you call this then?" He was watching me intensely, but I just looked away. "Running out the goddamn house and having me chase after you.

"I don't know. I didn't want you to come after me." I shrugged. I wasn't saying goodbye or anything. I just couldn't explain it.

"So what you're too good for me now, is that it?"

I jerked my head up toward him. "How could you even say something like that?" I spat at him. "Is it because of Anna - what she said?" I hoped that what my sister said, hadn't got to him and changed his thinking about the way I felt about him. Then, I wondered if he'd been thinking it all along - way before she even brought it up. "I gave up a lot to be near you. I left my job in New York...my house... to move all the way down here." I told, him try to reassure him of how being with him was the only thing that mattered to me.

"Yeah, well who the fuck asked you to?"

I was taken aback. I thought he wanted to see me. I thought he wanted me to be closer to him. I thought he wanted to give us a shot.

"No one. No one asked me to. No one had to. I did what I did because back then, all I wanted was to be with you."

"Oh, so you _wanted_ to be with me?"

"Yes. No - I didn't mean it like that. I just - I need time to think."

"To think about what - me?" He asked.

I answered, but at the moment, I wasn't sure. I crossed my arms."No about me. I'm the one with the issues. Not you."

"You sure about that?" He raised an eyebrow. "You know, your sister thinks - "

"Well, I don't care what she thinks. So, don't even bring it up."

"Why not, Dani? Everyone else wants to."

"It's just that I'm not sure about us - today - as adults and not kids. I thought I was or maybe I just kept telling myself was. But I've never been good with relationships - and this has nothing to do with what Anna said about you."

I didn't want to know about his past - or what happened when we went our separate ways. That was uncharted territory that I didn't want to just leap into. I was afraid that whatever I found out, I wouldn't like - and then suddenly the image I had of him would be ruined. And I couldn't - I couldn't ruin the old Tommy. Not now. He was my best friend. I loved him.

Maybe that was it - maybe we were better off as friends.

"Then just answer this?" He looked up at me, uncertain. "Are you scared of me?"

"No, of course not. Why would I be scared of you?"

He moved towards me. Too fast and it couldn't have been more than half a second, but, I did it. I flinched away. I couldn't help it. I averted my eyes. He stopped and took a step back. I looked up at him and he looked a bit hurt. Then it was gone.

"What was that then?" He asked.

"What Tommy?" I asked, though I knew what he was talking about.

"What you just did."

I sighed. "I - I didn't mean to." I said, not meeting his eyes. I didn't know what to say. I had always been a jumpy person ever since -

"Oh, you didn't mean to?" He asked.

"No." I looked at him. "What do you want me to say? I can't apologize for my reflexes."

"Some reflexes you got there."

"I'm sorry. You know what, Tommy? I changed my mind. You want to talk, let's talk. Right now."

Tommy shook his head. "You know what - I'm gone."

"No. You followed me here. Now, you're deciding to leave after you think you got the answer you were looking for - well you're wrong."

He kept walking.

"Fine, walk away, Tommy. That's what your best at."

"You started walking first." He turned and glared at me. "Remember that." He added, before turning to head out the door. He slammed the door and he was gone.

My head and my heart were pounding at the same speed and I needed to sit down. I slowly slouched down onto the couch. How could I be this stressed a little over a month of dating someone? Why did I even think I could do what Tess told me? That stupid "look me in the eye and tell me everything bullshit", I wanted no part of it.

Then, I realized that my fear couldn't have just have been because I'm scared of finding out too much about Tommy - things I didn't want to know. I was also scared of him finding out about me. That maybe he would realize that he didn't want the new me after all - That I was a fraud. A faker. That even with my nice job and nice house and everything else - that I was still broken inside. I pretend that I'm intelligent and better than that dumb teenage girl from Pittsburgh - but I'm not. And I make bad choices sometimes, choices I that I try to pretend never happened. At least Tommy knew who he was, but I'm a liar who pretends to have it together.

 _Right on time? Right on time my ass_ , I thought to myself.

Why did I let him leave? I never would have done that ten years ago. But maybe going after him would just make me a loser. Maybe this time I wanted him to do the chasing. If he truly wanted me, he was going to let me know. I'm tired of being the instigator. I made the move to get in touch with Brendan. I made the move to be closer to Tommy in Philly. I was making all the effort. What hurts me the most is that I know that if I hadn't looked Tommy up after seeing the fight, we probably wouldn't even be speaking now. Tommy never made the first move. He never said how he felt. When we were kids, He would throw the first punch, think of the first comeback - But when it came to me, he would always leave me hanging if I didn't reach for him first - and my arms were getting tired.

Now, he has me wondering if he even wanted me in the first place or if he was just settling for whatever was just in his reach. If I hadn't changed the channel one night and saw his face, I would be back in New York now. If I hadn't wanted him as much as I did, we wouldn't be together at all.

I could just be some other girl right now.

An hour later, I was fast asleep upstairs in my bed. I dreamt Tommy was in my bedroom. He was standing above my bed, just staring at me while I slept. Then he reached down and put a pillow on my face. He held it down until I couldn't breathe. He held it down until it killed me.

When I woke up the next morning, I could hear the floor creak and quiet footsteps that followed. I lifted up my head slowly and wiped away at my dried tears. "Tommy?" I croaked, softly. I cleared my throat as I got up slowly. I wondered if Tommy came back to so we could talk again?

I poked my head outside my bedroom door, but couldn't see anyone. I looked over the railing and down the stairs to see if he was down there. Maybe he wanted to give talking it out a second try - or maybe he wanted to say something else... I walked down the stairs and glanced around. I couldn't see anyone. I stopped in the kitchen and that's when I finally heard the footsteps again, coming from behind me. Then, they just stopped - and I knew something wasn't right.

I was about to turn around when I felt a sweaty palm clasp over my mouth. I froze. The other hand was thrown around me, holding onto tightly to my chest.  
I opened my mouth to scream, but my mouth was forced shut.

"Don't make a sound," He whispered into my ear.

**TO BE CONTINUED...**

* * *

 

 


	17. What You Left Behind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dani runs into trouble.

**{Danielle}**

** **

I'd be lying if I said I hadn't expected this. I knew one day he would show up again, but not now. Not so soon. Not while I was going through my issues with Tommy.

Why didn't I figure it out before? The silence on the end of the phone was my ex boyfriend, Luca Moretti.

I was trying to forget, but this was me. This was what I left behind. I was ashamed of it because it was something I told myself I would never do - something I told Tommy I would never do. I was with a guy who was no good - someone who I knew was no good. Someone who hurt me.

_**Tommy softly kissed the top of my head. "I just don't want you to end up like..."** _

_**"Your mom?" I asked him. He didn't say anything.** _

I just couldn't bare to see the look on Tommy's face if he ever found out, so I buried it. I tried to at least. I tried so hard to get away from it all and now it was grabbing me by the throat.

"Daniella - my sweet, sweet Daniella." He whispered into my ear as he still held onto me. He was the only one who called me that. I admit, I used to always love when he did, but only because it made my name sound more feminine than it was. It had been a long time since I had been called that, but definitely didn't want him calling me that now.

"I've missed you." He finally let go of my mouth and began to caress my cheek. It was always like this. He could flip from rough to sweet in a second.

"Where you expecting someone else?" He finally released me and shoved me forward as he did. I stumbled, before regaining my balance.

"What the hell are you doing here, Luca?" I said, turning around while trying to sound assertive, but I couldn't lie. I was scared to death and Tommy was long gone by now.

Luca looked the same as I last remembered him. He still had the same haircut, although his dark brown hair was a little bit shaggier. He had that same perfectly trimmed European looking moustache and beard combo. He was dressed in a white collared shirt, slim flat front beige cotton pants and brown buck oxfords. I didn't know how much I could hate a pair of shoes till now. It seemed a little for formal, but this was casual for him. Perfect for breaking into your ex girlfriend's house and sneaking up behind her.

Luca ignored my question. "Do you know how long it took me to find you?" He asked, while starting to examine the front hall. As he walked, I stood there watching him.

"It's been 5 years..." I said, folding my arms into my chest.

"So, what?!" Luca spat toward me like an angry pit-bull, his hazel eyes flaming. Out of fear, I looked away. Then quickly back at him to show him that he didn't scare me anymore. We were just having a conversation. _He doesn't have that power over you anymore, Dani._

"When did you get here?" I asked.

"When did you get my first phone call?...around then," He replied, pretty laid-back about the whole thing.

"How… How did you find me?" After Tacoma, I had moved to New York and now here in Philly. If anything, he should have expected me to be back in Pittsburgh where my mom recently moved back to.

"I heard through the grapevine that you were in Philly." I waited for him to continue and stop by the foot of the stairs.

 _Who could have told him that I was in Philly?_ My mom...or sister...someone from work. Dammit. I should have just stayed in New York. Though I doubt that would have stopped him. It would have just left me isolated from everyone.

"I thought I'd pay you a visit." He added. He headed into the kitchen and was peaking around it like he expected to see someone in there.

"How the hell did you get my address then?" I questioned, following him inside. All the blinds and curtains in the house were shut so it was hard to tell that it was in fact morning. The kitchen was so dark so Luca flicked on the light.

"Is that really important? I just had to make sure it was you." He paused. "I also heard that you're fucking Tommy Riordan. That true, Dani? The MMA fighter who got his ass kicked by his brother?" He chuckled.

I shuttered when he said Tommy's name. It felt so wrong coming from him. He didn't deserve to say his name. Those two parts of my life shouldn't collide. Anyway, Tommy could kick Luca's ass any day of the week. He really shouldn't have been laughing. They were around the same height, but Luca was half his size.

"Of course it is," Luca said to himself. "I saw the picture of you two all dressed up after dinner." _Wait, how did he kn -? Oh that damn couple with the camera after dinner that Tommy was so upset about._

"We're just friends. Anyway, it's none of your business." I paused. "Tommy's on his way over here right now so you can ask him yourself." I tried to keep the tone of my voice even. _I wondered if he could sense the fear on me. Dani...he can't hurt you anymore. All you have to do is get to the door and you'll be safe. Get outside and you're safe._

"You're lying."

"I'm not." I told him.

"Yes you are." he corrected. "I always know when you're lying Dani...He's not coming back." "Sit down, Dani," he said quietly.

I just looked at him. Was I really gonna sit? That would make it harder for me to make a run for it.

"Sit," he said again.

I did as I was told. If he didn't think I was scared, he wouldn't be keeping too close an eye on me. It would give me a better chance to run. Luca stood by the kitchen counter with his hands pressed to either side of it..his knuckles white. He was looking down. I think a part of him must have liked the feeling of still being able to control after being away from me for so long. I was sitting. He was standing. I was obeying his every order...so far.

He gritted his teeth, but didn't say anything. Then he said, "I haven't forgot about that night…and if you thought I was going to let you get away with it, you're wrong."

"All this because I left you that night?" I retorted.

"Left me? Is that how you remember it?" He asked with an angry laugh. Maybe I shouldn't have said anything. "You didn't just leave me. You called the cops, you dumb bitch!"

"And you lied to me. You said no one was going to get hurt." I yelled between huffed breaths. "And I was so goddamn stupid to have believed you," I whispered to myself.

* * *

**_Tacoma, Washington, 5 Years Ago_ **

I was had just turned twenty-four and was deciding whether or not to transfer to NYU's Journalism school. I wasn't completely inexperience when it came to writing articles. I had wrote a bunch of articles for websites and for smaller newspapers as a "youth" voice. People definitely got more opportunities if they were enrolled in uni. I was still deciding on whether or not to tell Luca.

I was changing my major because English was never really a good fit for me. _How could I tell him now that I wanted to leave Washington and transfer to NYU?_ I had to tell him eventually, but I still wasn't exactly sure of the decision at the time. I didn't want to piss him off prematurely and end up not going through with it.

 _Soon_ , I kept telling myself.

The decision to move states was obviously on purpose. I loved Luca, but also a part of me wanted out of the toxic relationship and was just looking for a reason to leave. I wondered if Luca would even let me? Luca - who I had met at the University of Washington. Four years after Tommy left me. I was twenty. He was an art major and was seven years older.

The night in question, we were driving down South street and had just finished picking up dinner from a Chinese place.

_Luca turned down a residential street I wasn't familiar with._

_"Wait, where are we going?" I questioned, sitting up in my seat._

_"I just have to get some things back from a friend." He said, turning to me._

_"Things, what things?" I asked._

_"Some money that doesnt belong to him," He replied flatly. I could tell he didn't want to tell me anything at all, but I still pressed._ _I just hoped today wouldn't be one of his "days". Only one way to find out..._

_"He stole from you? Do you need to get the cops involved?" I asked._ _This was something a normal girlfriend would ask, not someone who was scared of her boyfriend. I wasn't scared of him. Not all the time._

_"No. I can handle it myself." He replied calmly. OK - today wasn't one of his "days". He parked the car outside a house that didn't look like anyone was home. All the lights were off._

_He quickly reached into the glove compartment and took out a handgun._

_"What the hell, Luca? A gun? You put a gun in my car?" I paused. "Please tell me you are not taking that in there."_

_"Just a precaution," he told me._

_"You better not use it."_

_"Don't worry, I won't." He said._

_"Luca..." I warned._ _He opened the door anyway and stepped out._

_"Luca!" I called out, he ignored me and shut the door. I watched him walk up to the house. He didn't knock on the door. I continued watching until he went inside._

_..._

_Luca should be out any minute. How long did it take to get money from someone? I had my hands pressed against the steering wheel, foot slightly brushing the gas. I wanted to go home already. It was cold and well past midnight. I slunk deeper into my seat as an old lady across the street, came out of her house to put a bag in the trash. Then, I felt a vibration and went fishing in my pocket to find my phone. It was Luca calling me on my cell. Why was he calling me?_

_"I'm on my way. Get the car ready, Dani." He said. Why was he calling to tell me he was on his way? Why didn't he just get his ass out here already?_

_"Alright, well hurry then I - " Suddenly, there was a gunshot. I screamed instinctively as m_ _y heart dropped in my chest_ _. Then there was another. I began to hyperventilate._

_Fuck! I slammed my hand against the wheel. What the fuck! He said no one was going to get hurt. And not guns. I hate guns. My dad was killed with one and since forever I had hated the damn sound of one. Even on the TV._

_I could wait for him, but that meant possibly being arrested._ _There was always the chance that Luca wasn't the one who pulled the trigger, but either way, I knew I wanted out of there and this was my chance._

_"Fuck", I shouted out loud this time. I took a deep breath...I didn't even think. I put my foot on the gas and sped away without looking back._

* * *

**PRESENT**

Luca made a motion to come towards me and I prepared myself. Then he stopped in front of the fridge. _Shit_ , I thought. There was a picture of Me, Tommy and Rosie from her party three weeks before.

"Friends, huh?" Luca asked.

My breathing was hitched and I looked away before closing my eyes. I knew what was coming next. Within seconds he was in my face.

"Answer me!" He said.

"I don't know what you want me to say..." I said not looking up from my seat in the chair. "Yes, we are together...well we were. Now I'm not so sure."

Luca scoffed and backed away. "That's too bad."

Suddenly the phone rang and I made a dash for it.

"Don't.." he warned. Luca was right on my tail, but I was hoping to have a few seconds over him.

I just ran toward the hallway table by the door and prayed it would be Tommy. I only needed one second to let him know I was in trouble.

There was a struggle as Luca clawed me onto from behind, trying to pull me back. I yanked it off the hook, pressed the button and pushed it to my ear. "Hello...Tommy?! Tommy!" There was no reply. "Tommy!" I shouted again.

And then my vision went dark. There was a painful throbbing in the back of my head. Did Luca hit me? I thought as I collapsed to the floor.

And as I did, the voice on the other end of phone spoke:

_Congratulations, you have just won a brand new iPhone 6...to claim your prize, press -_

I closed my eyes.


	18. Fear

**{Danielle}**

 

12 PM

I had no idea what time it was, but it couldn't have been more than a few hours that had past. I was lying on the couch, my hair sprawled out to the side, but I wasn't tied up or anything. That was good. I could still try to make a run for it.

Luca, who was standing alone by the curtained window, turned around and noticed I was awake.

"Why did you make me have to do that to you, Dani?" He asked.

I still didn't speak. I couldn't speak. My head throbbed as I finally sat up and began to look around. This was still happening. It wasn't a dream like I had hoped once my eyes began to flutter open. I brought my feet to the edge of the couch and stood up slowly.

What did Luca want from me anyway? Revenge? That all seemed too simple. He wasn't just some guy I ratted on. He used to be my boyfriend... and now he had me trapped in my own house. My heart was pounding like a hammer against a nail and it was all because of him.

"It's dark in here," Luca noted like I wasn't just waking up from a hit to the back of the head he gave me a few hours before.

He sighed. "Let's get some sunlight in here since I'll be staying with you for a while."

 _Staying with me?_ Was it too late for me to be still hoping that Tommy would come back? I'd do anything to have him back here right now.

* * *

**{Tess}  
**

I walked back into Tommy's apartment to see him sitting on the couch in the same spot he was in the first time I came in. I headed toward the kitchen with my bag of _his_ groceries.

Brendan and I had stopped at the store on the way over and picked up some stuff for Tommy. I was glad the Brendan was spending time with his brother after all these years. Plus Tommy was over the house so much that I no longer cared if I had to run around the house in a bra and panty in front of him. I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

"Hey, Tommy..." I began. "Where's Dani?" I asked as I placed a bag on the table. If he wasn't going to help Brendan and I, he would at least have a conversation with me.

Tommy stopped looking at the TV for a moment, and turned to me. There was a slight pause, then he said,"Home, I assume," with slight bitterness. He continued to blindly ahead at the TV, but I could tell he wasn't all that engrossed in any of it.

"Oh, well did you two talk?" I know my questions were starting to get personal, but I didn't care. After all the fuss Dani was making about being more open with Tommy, I wanted to know.

"Yea we did," he answered, still not really looking at me.

"Hmm." I said. Well at least I tried. He didn't really seem in the mood to talk. Understandable. The anniversary of his mother's death was coming up. I could see why he might be feeling a little bummed out.

"Well good," I added. It wasn't really the response I was hoping for, but at least I had filled the quota for the required "daily Tommy talk".

I turned to the front door to see Brendan coming in with the last bag. I let out a sigh of relief. With Brendan here at least it wasn't awkward anymore.

When Brendan put his bag down, he came over to me. "You ready to go?" He whispered.

"Yeah," I nodded.

"Hey, Tommy, we're talking off." Brendan announced.

"Oh, yea?" Tommy said, getting up from he couch. "Thanks for the stuff," He had his hands in his pockets, but had a huge grin on his face as rubbed his hands through his hair. A lot different than how he was earlier when we came in.

"Yeah yeah, no problem." Brendan replied.

"Alright, see you soon, Tommy," I called out as I walked to the door. I waited for Brendan, but he hadn't moved yet. He put his hand up telling me to wait, then turned to Tommy.

"Before I go, can I talk to you for a quick second Tommy?"

I could see them muttering about something in the living room, but I couldn't hear what.I waited out in the hall.

A few moments later, Brendan stepped out and shut the door.

"Is he upset about your mom?" I asked.

"What?" Brendan looked at me confused. "Oh, um yeah." He began. "Well not upset. Just in a mood."

"What are you guys planning on doing for that? Anything at all?" I asked.

"I have no idea. I never did anything before."

"I know, but he may want to." I said, shrugging.

"Sorry, Tess." Brendan shook his head telling me that didn't feel like talking about this right now.

...

Once we got through the front door, we both went straight into the kitchen. We still had a few more hours until the girls got home from school.

"So I'm thinking of going to see Dani." I announced once inside.

"Why?" Brendan asked, turning around.

"I want to know how it went. Tommy won't tell me anything obviously. And I haven't been able to get Dani on her cell since yesterday."

"Maybe she's not home," Brendan said, wrapping his arms around my waist.

"Yeah..." I agreed. I knew Danielle obviously had her own life outside Tommy and us so why would I be surprised if she was out living it. Maybe I was just desperate for a girlfriend who didn't want to talk about school bake sales and PTA meetings.

"Just stay with me," he said, pulling me close to him.

"Brendan..." I mumbled into his chest.

"Why are you so involved in their love life anyway," he asked, leaning back so there was a space between us.

"I don't know...I'm a mother who spends her free time making arts and crafts and fishing Barbies out of the bathtub."

"Right. Boring." He stated.

"Yeah, ya think?," I agreed with a laugh.

"What about me?"

"What about you?" I smirked.

"Am I not interesting enough for you?" Brendan tucked a strand of hair behind my ear.

"You, sir.." I said jabbing my finger into his chest. "... got beat up on national television for me. I think that makes you plenty interesting," I told him.

"Uh huh, so how about I take you upstairs then." Brendan began to run his hand up my shirt and along my abdomen.

I laughed. "You would like that wouldn't you?"

He chuckled as well. "Yeah... and Dani will be fine if you postpone your girl time for later." He insisted.

* * *

**{Danielle}**

I followed Luca over to the back kitchen door as he threw open the curtain. He stood there looking out like he was admiring the view of my backyard.

"Dani, come here," he beckoned to me. "Stand by me."

I came to his side and said nothing. I still didn't have it in me to speak. Luca walked up behind me and rested his head on my shoulder and grabbed me by my waist.

"I want you to call Tommy and you tell him that you're with me now," he said into my ear. "And then I'm going to take you away."

He finally let up so I could stand up straight. I glanced out the window with dead eyes, not really looking at anything. I don't know what I was thinking. The immense fear I had earlier was turning into a sort of numb feeling... like I was in a trance. My head still hurt.

"But not before I teach you a lesson first." He stated. What did he mean teach me a lesson?

"And if Tommy Riordan ever comes around here," Luca added. "I'll kill him."

And that's when the fear came back. I took a deep breath as I started to shake. It didn't even bother me as much when I was threatened, but my heart went into overdrive at the mention of Tommy's name. I would die if Tommy ever got hurt, especially because of me.

"You can't get rid of me. Why can't you understand that?" He tucked a stray hair behind my ear and began kissing me along my collarbone. My body tensed at his touch. I didn't want him anywhere near me.

A few moments later, there was a knock on the door. We both froze in place.

"Dani, you in there?" It was Anna. Luca forcefully put his hand over my mouth and held my shoulder.

"Goddamn Dani, open up, I can see your car...Anyway, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. Please let me in."

I started crying now.

My sister was here and I could hear her voice. it sounded like music to my ears. She was so close. She had to come get me. Something's wrong, Anna. Just open the door, I thought...but I never gave her a key. Not yet anyway, while my place was so new. Shit. Anna was here because of our fight over Tommy at dinner. Granted, she was about a week late, but I I had never been so happy to have gotten into a fight with someone ever in my life.

"Anna", I called out through gagged lips, but it sounded more like muffled screaming. I doubt she heard.

"Stop it," Luca whispered. He uncovered my mouth, but grabbed my face. "You're going to tell her you're coming and then you're going to get rid of her."

"And if you decide to run or talk too much, just remember..."He began. He lifted up his shirt to reveal a pistol in his waistband underneath. "277 Mahogany Drive - you want to remind me whose address that is again?" _It was Anna's._

"Or is it 1303 Atlantic Ave?" _Brendan and Tess_ , I thought as I glared back at him. At least maybe he didn't know where Tommy lived.

I was breathing heavily as he shoved me forward. Slightly off balance, I stumbled toward the door. Luca was behind me somewhere. In the shadows.

"Be smart," he added, but I could no longer see him.

"Danielle!?" Anna shouted again.

"I'm coming!" I called out. I took a deep breath and opened the door a crack.

"Hey," I said, trying to sound cheerful.

* * *

**{Anna}  
**

"Hey," Dani greeted me with a smile. She was being much more gracious than I deserved.

I wasn't over here because my feelings about Tommy had changed. They hadn't. I still didn't like him. I was over here because my relationship with my sister trumped everything else and I wanted to get on her good side, even if that meant lying.

"Hey, are you alone?" I asked, trying to peer inside. She stopped me by closing the door a bit more.

"Yeah." She answered.

"Um, I have Beth in the car, should I drop her at mom's so we can talk? I'm sorry about how we ended things after dinner last week." I told her. She just looked at me. God, was she still mad? I didn't know what to say.

"So...can I come in?" I asked.

"No, I'm kind of busy. Can you come back later?" Dani replied abruptly. She was clearly still upset.

"Why don't you open the door?" I pushed my foot forward to nudge the door, and it opened a crack more.

"Anna..." She whispered as she shook her head slowly.

"Oh, is Tommy in there...well he can hear this too, I guess." I added.

"No he isn't. Now is not a good time." She reached my arm through the door and began squeezing my hand. It freaking hurt.

"Just go," She told me, her hazel eyes boring into mine.

"Are you still mad?" I asked. "I just want to talk and then you can be mad after, I promise."

She let go of my hand.

"I told you not now," she insisted.

"What about a phone call at least. Can you call me in a few days to meet up?" I asked.

"Uh, sure," She answered finally with a sigh.

"Alright, I'll see you then." I smiled at her.

"Bye Anna," she said dismissively"

"OK then...bye." I turned around to leave and Dani immediately shut the door behind. She was mad, but at least she spoke to me. I honestly expected worse.

* * *

**{Danielle}**

I shut the door and turned around. "Are you happy?" I asked, trying to sound annoyed, but my voice came out strained. I observed Luca who was standing in the living room entryway.

"Sit down so we can talk." He gestured toward the kitchen. He began to walk, but I stood where I was.

"What is there to talk about?" I asked him, still unsure of his plan.

"Whatever you want, doll." He replied, casually.

"What do you want with me?" I asked, giving up the charade. He wasn't my friend, so there was no way I was just going to sit down and chat with him.

Luca began to chuckle."What do you mean what do I want with you?" he asked annoyed. "What do you think you deserve... And also is that before or after I make you suffer." He stepped closer, getting into my face.

"Let's get one thing straight, OK. You're not leaving here unless I say you can." He barked. "And I'm going to keep you here and make you wish that you never left me in the first place."

"I'm not scared of you." I paused, trying to gather what little courage I had. Though I didn't really believe the words coming out of my mouth. "Not anymore." I added.

"Oh yeah, Dani?" He mused, edging closer. "You look pretty scared to me."


	19. Who I've Become

**{Danielle}**

When I think of Tommy, I'm reminded of a time in my life when I was good and innocent and pure. A time when life was easy. Well as easy as it could be for a kid back then. But it was also through him and his family that I saw a lot of crappy shit, _but I learned that life could be horrible and wonderful all at the same time._

Not saying goodbye to him that morning he left for the Marines, broke my heart again and again every time I thought about it. I promised myself I would never make a choice like that again. Something I would live to regret. Life was too short anyway.

When I found out he was home again, I thought I could get everything back. I thought I could get me back. The me that was smart and brave and strong. The only me I ever actually liked. I thought I could cure myself of the guilt I was holding onto for not saying goodbye to him. The guilt I was holding onto for not becoming a woman that my best friend Tommy could be proud of. For becoming someone he would hate to see.

Where was that girl now? That girl wouldn't take shit from anyone. That girl wouldn't be where I am now.

I don't know where she was, but she wasn't here now.

"You hungry?" Luca asked me a moment later, taking a deep breath.

"No," I told him, defiantly. I couldn't exactly tell if I was hungry. I felt fear and I felt anger. Mostly at Luca, but also at myself for chasing Tommy away when I needed him the most.

Then I ignored it all, and tried to concentrate on my stomach. I was hungry. Ravenous, in fact. It hurt. Like the emptiness was burning a whole in my stomach. But I would never tell Luca that. There were a lot worse things that could happen to me besides being hungry. Anyway, I shouldn't need permission to eat in my own house.

"You sure?" He asked with a twisted smile on his face. Like he knew I was lying. I was just waiting for the right moment when he was distracted so I could make a run for it. He went over the fridge.

"You must be. You never had breakfast. What do you want?" He asked.

"I'm not hungry," I said trying to keep calm, but my heart was racing. I could feel all the adrenaline I so badly needed to use.

"Well," he said peering inside to fridge door. "I think I'll have bacon and eggs...and maybe pancakes. Do you have bacon, Dani? I know you like the turkey bacon stuff."

I didn't answer. I watched him prepare. Meanwhile I kept eyeing the front door. It was about 35 steps away. 10 maybe if I ran. I didn't think trying to run while he was cooking was a good idea. Not unless I wanted hot oil to the face.

When Luca was done, he put a plate in front of me.

"Here you go," he said.

"I said I wasn't hungry," I told him, turning away from it.

"I know, but I made your favourite... Here." He cut up a piece for me to eat. "You used to love my pancakes," he added.

I didn't want to be reminded.

Luca talked a lot. Way more than Tommy ever did since he came back into my life. But Luca was nothing like Tommy. The difference between them was unsettling. Like night and day really. Luca was worldly, charming,sociable. I could bring him around my friends and family and not have to worry. He could handle himself.

_Then there was Tommy_. He was intense, a little impulsive, a bit of a recluse. A wild card at times.

Sometimes when he was upset, it was as if I could feel the heat radiating from his body...Hear the breath in his lungs...feel his blood pumping. He was so beautiful. Even when he was upset with me.

I was never really sure if he was going to yell or take off..But there was one thing I was certain of, he would _never_ hurt me.

There was never a doubt in my mind. I don't know why he couldn't see that. Whatever he thought, I thought about him was wrong. I knew he wouldn't. I just needed a chance to tell him that.

He could be seething, but there was still a light in his eyes. One that said, _"I love you. no matter how mad you make me"._

God, I really hurt him yesterday. What was I thinking? All of this could have been avoided. What am I saying? It's easy to want to blame myself, but the truth was, I didn't know that if I hadn't fought with Tommy things would be better now. They could have been worse. I don't know how Luca would have reacted if I wasn't alone. It could be _much_ worse.

"Am I going to have to feed you?" I heard Luca's voice again, taking me out of my thoughts.

He pulled out the chair across from me. He put the fork towards me and I hesitantly opened my mouth. I watched Luca talk as I chewed, but wasn't listening.

"You know when I first decided to come here, I just wanted to hurt you," he said. "Kill you even. "He stopped, waiting for a reaction from me. I finally glanced at him and he smiled and continued.

"Now, I think I might keep you."

He put down he fork, reached forward and "You're even more beautiful than the last time I saw you. How is that even possible?

I really didn't want to go through this any longer. I wanted nothing more than to be with Tommy right now and to apologize for being such an idiot.

I couldn't help it. I started to tear up. When Luca saw, it pissed him off.

"Why the fuck are you crying?" he spat at me. I think he knew why, but it definitely ruined the illusion if he thought we were going to play house.

I wanted to stop, but his yelling only made it worse. More tears came until I was full blown crying. "I'm sorry...I'm sorry..." I kept repeating, afraid of what he would do.

Then he got up, lunged himself across the table to grab my face, forcing my mouth together.

"Shut the hell up," he snapped. "I'm warning you." He added, as he let go, shoving me backward as he did.

I nodded and the tears began to subside.

He went over to the kitchen counter and rested his hands on them. His back was towards me. He let out a heavy sigh.

All it would take was a few seconds of luck, I thought. If I got outside everything would be OK. I would get to a neighbour's house and call Brendan and Anna and Tommy

I finally couldn't take it anymore. Without thinking, I made a dash toward the front door. I had to get out of here. No matter what.

"Dani!"

I wasn't fast enough. He was on me within moments, pulling me back.

"I've tried to be nice!" He yelled as he grabbed me by the waist, yanking me backward. When I was facing him, he punched me forcefully in the abdomen. I fell to my knees in excruciating pain as I clutched my stomach.

"It's taking all the strength I have not to kick your ass right now," he screamed. "And believe me, I want to. I've wanted to since the day you left me. So please Dani, do not push me."

He began pulling me up by one arm like a doll and shoving me into the living room.

"I'm guessing you don't want to eat then." He didn't wait for a reply. Not that I could anyway. I was still clutching my belly as I lay on the floor. "Good. You can fucking starve for all I care."

**{Tommy}**

After Tess and Brendan left Tommy's place, he left to go to see Frank. With Dani out of the picture, he needed to feel productive again and this was the only way he knew how. He needed to be in the ring again. Nothing could replace the euphoria of a fight. One where he was in control. Plus, he needed to prove to himself that he still could.

When he drove up to the gym, he spotted Frank talking to someone outside from the far end of the lot. They exchanged pleasantries and the person then went inside and Frank was about to as well, until he saw Tommy.

Frank stopped. He was a while away, but Tommy could see the apprehension in his eyes. A lot of people got that way when they saw him. _Who is this man? What is he capable of?_

For a moment, Frank never made a move to go over and Tommy didn't either. He looked a little startled by Tommy staring him down.

Then a second later, Frank started walking over to the car with a smile on his face. He raised an arm in the air to wave as he approached. "Hey, Tommy, how are you?" He called out.

Tommy got out of the car quickly. and headed to meet Frank in the lot.

"Good...good. You?" He asked.

"I'm glad to hear it," he said. "And I'm good thanks."

Tommy nodded. "That's good," he said.

For a moment, neither men said anything. It's got awkward quickly.

"So, Brendan tells me you're uh...seeing someone now," Frank said. "Is that right?"

_Great_ , there it was. The last person Tommy wanted to be thinking about right now was being brought into a conversation she had no business being in. Why was Brendan mentioning his life to strangers anyway. He abruptly changed the subject.

"So listen, I was thinking I wanted to start fighting again," Tommy said.

"Really? Wow," Frank replied. He was definitely taken aback. There was that apprehension again. _Tommy in the ring again...that can't be good._

"I was thinking you could set it up," Tommy continued.

"Uh yeah...I could," Frank paused. "Does Brendan know you're doin' this?" Frank asked.

Tommy grit his teeth. It always came down to Brendan one way or the other. It started to piss him off.

"Are you serious?" Tommy asked.

"I just meant..." Frank could see the irritation on Tommy's face. "You know what, never mind. I'll see what I can do." Frank said. "I'll uh...give you a call when I have something, alright."

"Yeah," Tommy said swiftly. He started heading back towards his car without looking back.

"Call and leave your information!" Frank called out.  "Fuck," he muttered to himself when Tommy was out of earshot.

**{Danielle}**

After a moment, I was finally calm. I still couldn't bring myself to stand.

I heard something rustling and looked up to see Luca going through a bag on the floor behind the couch.

To help you sleep," he said as he stared to walk toward me.

"I don't want to sleep," I told him.

He stopped. "Are you really going to say no to me?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

I shook my head slowly and he continued walking over. "Anyway, I have somewhere to be and you can't be left awake while I'm gone obviously, "

When he reached me, he bent down so we were face to face and raised the syringe. He tapped it a little. The thought of that needle piercing me and knocking me unconscious soon after made me feel dizzy.

"W-wait..you're leaving? Where are you going?" I asked, trying to stall him.

Luca smiled at me and placed the needle up to my neck. I instinctively jerked away, but he roughly pulled my neck toward him with his free hand. "Maybe I'll tell you when I get back."

I let out a small gasp, as the needle pierced my skin.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:
> 
> :0  
> I have a surprise for you all coming up. Stay tuned.  
> I know what's coming, but not sure I've foreshadowed enough? (shrugs) Thanks for reading. Love you all!


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